Tuesday 22nd February 2011, the Swans may be coming!

(BTW the pictures are all over the shop, don't know why they will just not format correctly)

Went for our longest bike ride yesterday, about 16 miles, since the combination of, dislocated little toe, stubbed big toe and chalfonts, kind of stood in the way, is that a pun?

Headed for the “Natural park” AKA “scrub land by the sea”, to check out some picnic sites for later in the month.  Unless you want to sit on the beach, none.  Fair amount of  still water and when it's warm what does that combination get you, yep, mossies the the size of Apache attack helicopters.
As usual, because of my “come and get me mossies” smell that I apparently extrude and SWMBO doesn't, I'm covered with the buggers and she isn't.  “We could eat here?”  “Well no pet, they are already eating here, mostly me!”  Dash back to the sanctuary of the promenade and to look for a suitable coffee shop.

Now on the promenade, near the port there are about a dozen cafés come restaurants, the one in the middle “The Sports Bar” is always packed,  the ones either side etc. are not.  We found out why.  Because the others are twice the price and the food is terrible, mind you the service is excellent, probably due to the ratio of three waiters per customer I would guess.  So a cup of coffee, a Fanta lemon drink and a glass of orange juice, €7.20, bloody cheek, it was like being back in Forest Row!
News from the home front, Ashleigh, our new lodger, is moving in, Richard is staying a little longer until the bank of Mam & Dad buys him a house, Adam appears stable and his groin rash is finally clearing up, and Heather is just fine.  Also car and 5er insurance was due and the quote has remained at the same as last year, £460, as that includes 365 day green card for both the 5er and Navara cover, I think it's a pretty OK deal.

About the title, yep, had a e-mail from Alan Swan, who may be at a loose end beginning of March, has requested our double bed for a week.  In the past we have never actually got round to replying before another e-mail appears with his flight details and where and when we should pick him up.  Two days later and the present Mrs Swan is also at a loose end as well, get the prawns on the barbie!  We could always put the tent up?

Bloody warm yesterday, 24°C, no wind and I think I got a little too much of the sun as at 6pm I felt like I'd been on the booze in the afternoon, came over all queer?

Today, however, we are finally going to the Chinese Palace with Mike and Irene and the “all you can eat” for €9 pp.  It's just a medium walk up to the village, fill up with black bean sauce and lemon chicken and then spend the rest of the day lying about again, it's hard but someone has to do it. 
Been and I'm as full as a very full person can be, replete, chocked.  Choice was, chicken curry, pork and some Chinese vegetables, sweet and sour prawn balls, chillied beef, spring rolls and lots of special rice, beer and water, all for €9/person.  We chose everything.  Will not eat for the rest of the week.
Warm again, no wind, well after that Chinese there's sure going to be some later.  So just lying here listening to the warbling of new arrivals, guess what, more Germans, as they tune in their satellite dishes. After the bike ride yesterday and the 3 mile walk today my toes are giving me gip and I'm just all over knackered, can barely press the page turner on my Kindle.

E-mail from second born Heather, proposing coming over early May to Valencia which is OK as we are moving to Bonterra Park in Benicassim sometime in April before the final push on to Koblenz in Germany in June, returning via Calais in July.

September will be a short trip to Italy leaving the 5er in storage and using the tent.

Wednesday 23rd February 2011 and it looks like she is going to wash.

And she did, only one load though.

New neighbours, Germans of course, we now have Germans on every point of the compass from us.  Reminds me of a statement made by a colonel in the 101st USA Airborne, after the Battle of the Bulge near the end of the second world war.  Reporter to colonel “Was it a problem that you were surrounded at the time?”  “Sonny”, the colonel responded, “We're paratroopers, we're supposed to be surrounded!”  Well that's how me and SWMBO feel at the moment and of course our afternoon sun has gone because some Ericks have camped right next door.  Werner and Erika as they are called are apparently only here for two weeks so I guess we will just hold on.  What Swany makes to all these Ericks, when he arrives should be fun, he'll probably keeping telling everybody not to mention the war, he's sensitive that way, NOT!


Lidl (may God bless and keep it) are having a special sale on, of all things, wine.  They have reduced their ever popular, €1.89 bottle of what you may loosely call robust Rioja, to 69 cents a bottle!  They have corks and some even have labels on them so they must be OK?  So how many crates can I actually get in the back of the Navara?  OK , I've had to max up the air suspension because the rear leaf springs were beginning to creak a little but I think I've got enough crates to last until the middle of June at a push.  After “sampling” a few of these, a song came into my mind very late at night, now if you remember Stealers Wheel?

Well I don't know why I came to Spain for all these nights,
 I got the feeling that something ain't right,
 I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
 And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
(without dislocating my toe again)
 Dutch to the left of me,
 Germans to the right, here I am,
 Stuck in the MS with SWMBO.

Yes I'm stuck in the MS with SWMBO,
 And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
 It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
 Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
 Dutch to the left of me, Germans to the right,
 Here I am, stuck in the MS with SWMBO.

Well you started out with just a tent,
 And you're proud that you're a 5th wheel man,
 And your friends, they all come crawlin,
 Slap you on the back and say,
 Please.... Please.....can we come and stay with you on the cheap for a few weeks.

Trying to make some sense of it all,
 But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
 Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
 'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore
 Dutch to the left of me, Germans to the right,
 Here I am, stuck in the MS with SWMBO.

More Germans

Surrounded!

Still surrounded!

Help!

Today we did the remainder of the Vicar cycle run and now have the complete “Roundabouts of Vicar” showcase, how sad are we becoming?  It was a total of 12 miles and my toes seem to have managed OK although the little toe is still pointing the wrong way, just have to get used to it.  SWMBO did offer the get hold of it with a pair of sturdy pliers and “sort it”, but seeing the wicked smile on her face, I declined the offer.

Swany and his missus are due on the 8th March, staying for 4 days so the weather better be good or he'll manage to blame me.  Speaking of which it's been a balmy 21°C, no wind, blue sky type of day(s) which is predicted to last for at least a week.
Heather has confirmed her visit for 7th to the 12th May when we should be ensconced in Bonterra Park in Benicassim if our booking goes through OK.  We are getting more visits here than we did at home!

Thursday 24th February 2011

Looks like another fine day except that with the warm weather our good friends the mossies are returning in force, either SWMBO got bitten so they must be bloody desperate!  So we need to stock up on some refills for our little devices that attract more than repel the bastids.
The plan today is to do the “Roundabouts of Aguadulce”, so look forward to some more beguiling pictures.  First job, however, is to blow the bike tyres up, do you know, they have should be 55 psi?
Werner and Erika are clattering about at the moment putting up their “markise” i.e. awning and seem to be having a lot of trouble finding which poles fit which; and with true Teutonic thoroughness are using a laser spirit level, theodolite and a small beam winch to make sure everything is “true”, could be a while. 

Off for what turned out to be an 8 mile bike ride around Aguadulce and it's environs, the environs mainly being up very steep hills, stopped for a coffee at our local, then cycle back for luncheon. 
Tonight SWMBO wants to catch the sunset at the correct time, i.e. sunset, as we missed it last night.  Then wait a little longer and see if I can get the “star” pictures I have been trying for.  Going to go to a more remote part of the beach this time to get away from any city glow, about 8'ish I reckon.
Tonight's dinner is going to be a mish mash of whatever we find in the fridge and then a couple of exciting episodes of “The Wire”, which is actually quite good now they don't swear quite so much and use less “ghetto” slang, unless it's just we are now understanding more.  Called SWMBO “Mah Bitch!” the other day and got an immediate slap in the face.

Tomorrow BAWID begins again so it's off to Mercadona to get the necessities in and Lidl (may God bless and keep it) to buy a bucket and a plastic hair net, don't ask.

SWMBO has been learning a bit more German and knows most of the numbers now and has learnt how to tell people her age, “Ich bin eineuntzwanzig jahre alt” is what she tells everybody, in your dreams pet.

Shopping for BAWID and then a quick look for the bucket and hairnet to no avail, tried Lidl (may God bless and keep it) , Carrefour and Bricomat, nada, just have to manage without them.
Then the plan was to cycle to the Spinnaker to use their small library to swap some books but we both just couldn't be arsed and are now reading in the sun.  SWMBO is reading “Playing for Pizza”, by John Grisham and it does not involve the law at all!  A good read, she can barely put it down because it's about Italy and food, two of her three best things, no, the other one is dominos.
Saturday 26th February 2011, warm and bright.

Got up had breakfast and it's 10'ish and I manage to stub my dislocated little toe on the table leg, so now I'm hoping around the MS trying to suck my toe in comfort, screaming, with tears rolling down both cheeks and what do I get from sympathetic SWMBO?  “Keep quiet or you'll wake me up!”
Foolishly read a couple of free on line newspapers the other day, Telegraph and Grudian I think, actually now I come to think about it, it may have been Die Zeit or Die Welt, and they are reporting the Libyan thing and Geddafi in particular.  One thing is about the incompetence of the UK in getting the Brits working in Libya back to the UK.  What!  They went there to work for him why should we (UK) do anything?  Let their own companies (oil) get them out.

Also our “best friend” Obama thinks maybe the UN should intercede, there is oil there isn't there, and guess what?  He fears that Geddafi has (WMD) Weapons of Mass Destruction, have we heard this somewhere before?  It's like Déjà vu all over again.  I came here not to read these things as it only gets my blood pressure up so from now on it's only the sports sections, unless Sunderland loses again.
Managed to have an argument with 'er indoors, mind we can, and do, argue about, well just about anything and everything.  For instance, thought I would do her a favour and give the inside of the windows a quick clean.  “Don't do that!” is what I get, OK I am using the tea towel and apparently you should use a specially dedicated cloth for this, but how am I to know?  It turns out that she has her jobs and have mine.  Hers is mainly excessively cleaning anything that is not bolted down and I do the “outside” jobs, emptying the toilet, washing the dishes, seems I have literally got the shitty end of the stick here.

Anyway I decided to explain to her how I do my stuff and then she could explain hers.  After showing me the twin tub washing machine and what different powder, liquids and tablets along with “conditioners” (whatever they are?) do.  Also how hot/cold/warm the water has to be for different clothes AND the difference between what is actually “white” and what is “coloured” (is this PC madness everywhere) and how my week old underpants doesn't fit in either category, I was obviously looking slightly bemused.  Then she said, “I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant”.  Which did not help at all.

Looks like we are having another bike ride into Aguadulce as she spotted a shop she had actually not been in yet and it may also sell the “sweet chilli sauce” she uses on her rice and vegetables, so that's that then.  Then at 6pm it's England v France on telly at the Spinnaker pub on the beach front, have to drive so no drinking, it will be too dark to cycle.  On the roads it's OK but then there is about a mile and a half of scrub land that the access road to the camp site winds through.  After seeing the two Senegalese guys the other day, on cycles in their black balaclavas with eye cut outs, there is no way  she is cycling back.

Aguadulce doggy

Got back from the ride and we must have visited every super/mini market within a 6 miles radius and no chilli sauce is to be had.  She settled on a bottle of some spicy fruit and vegetable sauce from the local Eroski, hopes that keeps her quiet for a while.  Tonight, after the rugby, we are having those Spanish fillet steaks with all the trimmings, can't wait.

I have noticed that the Baron, AKA Heinz the Erick, has been toning down his number of dealings and I suspect that he may be thinking of going legit.  I think the Narcs and Febbies are staking his motorhome out and are preventing the regular re-ups to his pit.  Apparently one of his corner yo boys was redball because of a humble.  Heinz was worried he could not carry the weight and he didn't have enough suction with Roquetas town council to go on slinging the cheese at the jecta without stand up with the po po, good or not.

BTW if, by any chance you didn't quite catch much of that, you need to watch the first three episodes of “The Wire” asap.

Well England beat France 17-9 and a very good match it was, but unfortunately Sunderland got beat  2-0 at Everton and if we don't watch out Newcastle will overtake us in the league, barely bares thinking about that does.

Then the evening meal; with a €35/ kg fillet steak from Mercadona, chips, mushrooms (dripping with garlic butter), fried tomatoes, onion rings and peas, heaven on a plate.  Bottle of fizz, some red wine. Winning at dominos and then one episode of TW and then bed, how good can it get?

Sunday 27th February 2011

Up at 7am, read the papers (online), then same as same as, i.e. 'er indoors Sunday morning breakfast, but first the window blinds.
The bloody window blinds are starting to take on a will of their own.  If the clips at the top that hold them to the window frame come slightly loose they hang down all crooked and when you try to re-clip them they end up in a pile on the floor.  Then you have to re-concertina them back into shape and start again, as there is a “day” blind attached to a “night” blind it can get a bit complicated.  So if it happens last thing at night when I've had a few sherbets then it'll be still there in the morning. Then of course I tend to swear a lot when I see them first thing in the morning. 

So this morning I've got my face pressed up to the “lounge” window trying to re-concertina them back into shape and re-clip them all at once, Mr and Mrs Heinz, next door had some very quizzical looks on their faces as they stood there with their cleaning brushes in their hands (it was 7:30 am by then of course), wondering what the hell I was up to.  So job done and I can get on with SWMBO's breakfast.

This breakfast is starting to take on gigantic proportions, with the addition of half a toasted baguette covered in marmalade, it is starting to fill the tray she gets supplied with it on, in bed. It's only 10 am and she's finished eating and is now reading her book and banging on about another cup of tea.
Apparently it may rain a bit for the next few days, overcast now , not a lot but enough to stop SWMBO thinking about washing for a while, which I don't mind at all. 

We have, between fights over the dubious outcomes of domino matches, been discussing what our future travel plans will be.  Plan A was, end April leave here for Benicassim, then on to France and then Koblenz in Germany for the glorified flower show.  Looking at flowers for more than a day is not high up there on my “must do before I die” list, so I've been offering some alternatives.  Also looking at the pitches and camp sites in and around Koblenz I don't think we will just breeze on to them with a Navara 5thwheel combination and manoeuvrings into a precise German type position, also, I've actually had enough German thrown at me over the last three months aswell.

So how about we stay in Spain and get the ferry back from Bilbao to Portsmouth as usual and then using the Truckasarus and the tent as planned to go to Italy in September, call into Koblenz on the way!  Masterful, Genius!

And now the roundabouts of Vicar

Aguadulce park

Good night from Roquetas

Stop press!  She's decided to wash after all, damn!

Tuesday 15th February 2011, stuck inside and it's raining.

Just in passing, this blog was originally about 4pages long and for some reason just disappeared!  Not in recycle bin, nowhere, lost and I cannot be arsed to re-write the whole damn thing again.  The joke about the rattlesnake and the inner tube will have to keep for a while yet, and the picture of SWMBO doing her bikini line has been lost forever.  Tal es vida.
The Valentine’s do last night, was very good actually but spoiled somewhat by the fact that it was also bingo night, which was not postponed for a special night like this.  Thing is we are surrounded by red hearts, ribbons etc. and in the background everybody inc. the barmen and waitresses are playing bingo!  The caller was a Spanish lady who announced the numbers first in Spanish and then English.  So we both now know how to say “two fat ladies” and “legs 11” in Spanish, must come in handy some day?

My card

Meal was cannelloni followed by a steak for me, eggplant and hake for Tricia plus a very nice bottle of Rioja, the pudding was a heart shaped cake which she ate most of.  So a three course meal with wine and a free Spanish lesson thrown in, all for €33, can't be bad.
Rolled back very full, and watched one episode of BG and went to bed disappointed, it's really crap and we will start “The Wire” very soon.
We were going to go with Mike and Irene to the local Chinese to get an “all you can eat” lunch for €9/head but although not quite raining yet, it looks like the rain is going to come real soon so I thought I better cycle up to their caravan and arrange another day.  Cycled onto their pitch at a bit of a pace, front wheel digs into the gravel, bike stops and I fly over the handlebars and splat on my back.  Irene, who had been sitting by her window, comes running out, “All I could see was a body flying through the air, are you all right?”  The bike was undamaged and I had broken nothing else but my pride was a bit bruised.
The rain came for the next few days and the thunder and the lightning so a lot of reading was done.
For some reason Mrs Heinz, just before the rain started, hung her undergarments on the line.  There are 6 of them and they probably won't be dried out until Friday when the rain is expected to stop.  So if she wears one pair a day and has seven, stands to reason or there'll be more on the line, so the pair of knickers she has on won't see the light of day until Friday as well?

6 pairs of knickers in the rain

Wednesday 16th February, still raining.
The gas finally ran out on the butane bottle, so that's four weeks as against the two we get with propane.  So we cook quicker, the heating is hotter and it costs half the price, why do I keep thinking that this is all too good to be true?
My job for the day was to find the distilled water and  then I checked the leisure batteries and they all needed some but were OK.
Thursday dawned and the rain had eased off so Tricia give the Truck a good “Mam” clean for the up and coming 130 mile trip to Malaga to pick up Adam and new girlfriend.    We then went to Almeria to check out the bus timetables for the flight back, a taxi cost €40+, by the way, so bus it's going to be.  Then shopping at Mercadona and fill up the Truck at €1.24/litre, coffee in the plaza and back to MS.
Friday 18th February 2011.
Set the alarm for the unearthly hour of 7:30 am and managed to get up, SSS and we were on our way by 8:45 am.  I had forgotten that most of the journey after Adra was single carriageway so bowling along at 70 mph was a no no.
Got to the airport as their plane was landing and parked as far away from arrivals as you can while still remaining in Spain, as we couldn't figure out how to drive right up to arrivals.
Adam and Sammy arrived just after we got there so everything was A OK.  Then we couldn't find the car, went to wrong level and as Tricia had already paid the ticket wondered if we still had enough time on it to get out, thank God it worked!

Hi Ads!

Lunch is served

Then the drive back stopping to drop them off at Almuneca, a resort 30 miles this side of Malaga,  where Sammy's friends had a flat.  Had lunch at a restaurant on the sea front in Almuneca, said goodbye at their friend's place and then the long drive back.  Both of them looked a little tired and probably planned some shut eye asap.
Forgot that the camp sites we planned to look at were between Almuneca and Malaga, so we didn't, maybe next time, probably when we go to see the caves at Nerja. Took some photos on the way back as the coastline is very pretty and arrived at the MS about 5'ish.  Both were knackered but not hungry so it was cribbage, Doms, “The Wire”, which is very good except every other word begins with F.
Saturday 19th February and guess what?  It's washing day.
The usual stuff involving water and waste water.  We were going for a cycle ride but it came over all cloudy and cool.  Tricia decided to walk up to Mercadona to get some mushrooms for tonight’s steaks, I did not go as my toes would not stand a two mile walk yet.  I stayed in and retyped this.
Evening meal was the best fillet steak on earth with chips, battered onion rings, fried tomatoes, grilled mushrooms and a nice bottle of Rioja (€2.45).  Then we tried to watch “Stir Crazy” with Gene Wilder, no silly he was in it, but SWMBO fell asleep half way through.
Sunday 20th February 2011, the usual breakfast for her except last week I made the tragic error of making her extra toast so she can have marmalade on it.  So it was two eggs and soldiers, freshly squeezed orange juice, toast and marmalade and a cup of tea, all of course, served in bed. 
I had a cup of coffee!
It's another washing day!  Dark colours this time, yesterday it was whites, I'm a bloke why not just do them all together?  Waste of time having two washing days, she'll be hoovering next, hang on, she is!
Heinz next door has just received his regular very large basket of oranges from the back of a car, it's long and black with two inverted “Vs” on the grill.  This is driven by another Erick who disappears about  10 o'clock every Sunday morning and reappears with a car full of oranges 45 minutes later, where he goes to get them from I don't know but one day I'm going to follow him. 
Heinz (AKA The Baron) then sub divides them into small bundles and sells them to the other local Ericks.  I mean it's like drug dealing in New York.  Guy strolls up, palms a €5 note into Heinz's hand, he disappears into his awning and comes out with a bag of “the stuff”.  He even has the audacity to show “the goods” in hanging baskets on his pitch.
Of course you see the Ericks double checking them as he has been known to “cut” them with some lemons or worst still a pomegranate from Mercadona.
He uses leather clad lockouts placed strategically around his pitch which can be unnerving as they sometimes can be heard muttering about “Crystal night”, “lampshade time” and that this Normally Addictive Zest Ingredient will last for a thousand years! 

Of course this is a serious (and profitable) business, the guy who actually picks them probably only gets 20 cents a kilo, street prices however are huge, if rendered down to it's liquid form even more so.  Of course you need the correct sterile equipment to do this.

The Baron doing a deal

FSOJ as it's known, is highly addictive and you sometimes see Ericks wandering around going “cold turkey” and being weaned off the stuff with a sherbet dip or fruit drops. 
At least 2 oranges are needed for one “shot”, some people pour it on their corn flakes but the more serious users “mainline” it straight into their stomachs from where it spreads rapidly into the system. When it does, chemical alarms sound immediately and a number blood cells and plasma enzymes recognise the orange molecules as being part of a family of compounds call alkaloids.  In a desperate but vain effort to protect the body from this sudden invasion, plasma enzymes called cholesterases attack the OJ splitting some of the foreign molecules into physiologically inert fragments.

FSOJ apparatus

A "line"

Within seconds however the remaining OJ is streaking through the body and heading for the brain, crossing the blood brain barrier and pooling in spaces called synapses across which the nerve cells communicate.  Then the OJ transmutes itself and impersonates neurotransmitters such as epinephrine, nor-epinephrine or dopamine. As the dopamine level increases, the pleasure centres deeply embedded below the cerebral cortex in the brain become over active.  Circuits of nerve cells divinely wired to ensure the survival of the German species ring with excitement and fill different pathways running up to the cortex with ecstatic messages. 
The Erick then begins to do things not normally found in the German physic, smile, laugh, act joyously and not invade any country bordering to the east.
Too much misuse of the body has it's consequences and groups of Ericks can sometimes be found aimlessly meandering the calles, but also being at the shower block at 8 o'clock sharp with their towels, some things not even OJ can change.
Heinz, the orange man, has a lot to answer for.

It works!

By the cringe it's warm today, no wind and over 20°C, so it's going to be the first BBQ of the season this evening.  Chicken, sausages, grilled sweet peppers, baked potatoes and salad, washed down with 14° white wine and beer, I can feel myself becoming comatose all ready.
7pm and it was, a very nice BBQ with a bottle of fizz thrown in.  Couple of episodes of TW and it's time for bed.

All ready inc. "Fizz"

Monday 21st February 2011, where the hell is the time going!
Had to get up relatively early this morning, 7am,  as SWMBO was having one of “those” nights, hot flushes, so the duvet gets chucked to hell and back.  Then “cold” versions of the same thing only I end up with a tiny corner of the duvet as she commanders the rest of it.  Numerous jumping up and going to the loo accompanied by excessive snoring is enough for me to call it a day, or more correctly a night, and get up.
So I end up as usual, typing this after stating three days ago that I wouldn't replace what was lost.  Actually I didn't, this is all made up new stuff!

Thursday 10th February, not much doing really?

Wednesday began well as as I was still flushed after a 3-0 win at Doms and England beat
Sweden 2-1, both good results.
Went up to see Mike and Irene to as where they got their oranges as the orange man is, for no
reason we know of, not allowed to sell them any more?  So Mike invited themselves for coffee with us at 3pm.  Rushed round to the site supermarket and bought some red and white wine and some beer on
the off chance that is was not coffee they wanted.
3pm and true to their word they turned up and the bottle of red wine slowly emptied, no coffee was drunk.  They stayed for a couple of hours and when they went I decided I'd already ruined my “no drinking during the week” and so the beer went as well.  Doms, me again then the penultimate
“House”, then Penguin and bed.
The switch over to butane is a definite improvement because everything is running hotter and we have already gone over our normal two weeks/bottle.

Thursday 10th February 2011
Another warm, blue sky day and Tricia has decided to get the mould off the “day” blinds, caused by us not leaving the vents open during the night and allowing a build up in condensation leading to mould.  Dilute bleach using a tooth brush worked but it will take a few days to get them all done.

The blonde leading the blind?

The finished ones look brand new!
Today was black tank emptying day and because even with my patented waste hog lifter, I cannot fill the hog completely because it's too heavy to lift the 3 feet to the lip of the dump.  The thought of struggling to get a full one up and it spilling all over the place, especially in front of the Ericks, does not bear thinking about. 
Mercadona to top up the fridge and today it's a non BAWID so I need some soft drinks in, along with some pickles and cheese.
Richard who is renting a room from us is leaving end of this month so if we cannot get a replacement pretty soon we will have to return to the UK because our savings will start to get hit big time.
Bill, the French motorhomer, French domiciled Brit is leaving tomorrow, hopefully taking both his dogs with him as they do howl a bit when left alone but that's all part of this life.  Live and let live.
Although some people have double standards, Henk, our Dutch neighbour but one, complained to Alan, a Brit across the road, about playing some Spanish music on his motorhome CD system, not loud, I couldn't actually hear it.  Then plays his band music from his car with the doors open or every now and then gets his trumpet out and blasts for over an hour!
Last of House tonight and series 7 is a way away yet, so it's Battlestar Galatica tonight, if we don't like it SWMBO wants to go home!
Doms, 3-1 to me again, I think it may be battling Ludo from now on.

Friday 11th February 2011, sunny and set to be around 18°C for the day with no wind, excellent! Up early, quick shower and get ready for BAWID!
One last set of window blinds to de-mould and probably revel in getting a couple of more hours of evening sun because Bill's motorhome will be gone and no longer blocking it out.
My jobs today are, visit Mercadona for material for BAWID, clean and wax alloy wheels on
Navara and make a new batch of Chilli con Carne. 
Now I like my chilli hot, I mean really hot.  The best way of telling if you've put in enough chillies is that if, after a few stirs with the wooden mixing spoon, you are only left with the handle, cease with the chillies.  As you can see I've only made a small portion, about a gallon, enough to last a couple of days.

Enough for me!

The best chilli I ever had was in a small roadside diner just outside Fort Lauderdale in Florida. 
I was over there for a month long training course and then had to wait a further two weeks for the chaps from RAE Bedford to turn up.  We were running some tests on a couple of mini supercomputers they planned to use on their military flight simulator system.
Anyway, during these two weeks I was at a loose end, OK spring break in Fort Lauderdale can be awesome with all the female college kids turning up and participating in non stop wet T shirt competitions but I was (and still am) a married man.  So one evening I walks into a diner on the
outskirts of Fort Lauderdale near Boca Raton and orders their home made cook house chilli.
The guy who served it said “Hey, this is really hot man, I bet a puny limey like you can't handle it!”  Or words to that effect, the gauntlet was down!
They give you some crackers and a large steaming bowl of nuclear chilli.  After about two spoonfuls I new I was in trouble, after five my eyes were streaming like hydrants and my throat was bleeding, half way through I had tunnel vision and was seeing only in black and white.  The three beers I had had so far were like pouring a cup of water into the desert, I ordered another pitcher, I was not going to let England down.  Visions of molten larva passed before me and at one point I think I actually passed out.
The final mouthful was like eating red hot charcoal but I forced it down, along with my last cracker and the remnants of my beer, I looked over to the guy and said, “aaaghhed bfffgggng ddfsgmmmmg”.  Which roughly translated meant “Up yours mate!”
He replied, “Well not many people finish a whole family bowl of chilli, would you like some
jalapeños in a bag to go?”
“Tweck pwease”, was all I could muster, I didn't tip.
The next morning the toilet roll was not in the fridge, it was in the freezer, and thankfully a bag of ice was floating in the bidet.  “Hiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss” is a rough approximation of the sound upon first use.

I also remember a curry I had in Reigate, not quite as exotic as Fort Lauderdale, but there you go.
I have always liked hot curries from when I was a young lad, main reason is that my Dad liked them, being ex-sailor, and every Sunday evening would curry all the left overs from the Sunday roast in the frying pan.  Monday lunch was always, egg, beans and chips, one of my favourites. Problem was the
eggs were green round the edges from the curry fried in the pan previously and slowly and surely, every Monday lunchtime, me and my brother David became curry connoisseurs. 
So back to Reigate, went in and asked for a king prawn madras, “And make it hot, this time mate”.  You may ask why not go for a vindaloo or perhaps a fall curry but believe it or not, they taste different.  Some people believe that if it's hot there's no taste, far from it, they are subtle differences and I preferred the madras taste.  Well I do not know what they did to it, but I ate it, just, and spent the drive back to the hotel with my head out the window, my tongue hanging out and drooling continuously down the driver's door.

SWMBO went to the market the other day and got this Ski jumper for the cold, cost €7, bargain.

It's 4:30 pm, still sunny and we are both just lounging around getting a tan.  Going to Vodafone shop in Roquetas to top up the phone, I haven't been using it but SWMBO is always sending text's and it all mounts up, at the moment have got 7 cents left so can still receive (Spanish SIM) but not send.  Then call into Mercadona on the way back for the necessaries and then perhaps cribbage followed by the first 2 hour instalment of BG. 
Got parked ( a first) and there is now €20 on the phone, let's see how long that last with her texting all the time, she thinks it's free.

Saturday 12th February 2011, it's morning and I can hardly walk.

No, not the toes, they just make me limp.
A number of things happened last night, not all good.  She won at at Doms (bad), I had a pizza (good), she drank a bottle of fizz (bad), I had a few beers and wine (good), we watched Battlestar Galactica  (bad, she fell asleep) and then we went to bed. (bad, very bad, not a good idea, deep pain and misery coming up, type of bad).
So half way through the night and SWMBO is nicely tucked up with the penguin and we are both
sound asleep.  I turned over, which apparently I do by making lots of little jumps (the reason, when tenting, we use two single air beds because when I “jump turn” on a double airbed, she gets bounced out)  So as I making my final jump she swings round, knee first and basically neither Ron “Chopper” Harris of Chelsea or Norman Hunter of Leeds (dirty bastids) could have timed a knee in the groin better.
There was big John and the twins, innocently cradled in my loins and for a split second upon first contact thought, “Oh, lucky day!”  The next was an excruciatingly painful moment as the blow was delivered, followed by a howl of pain from me as I clutched my throbbing vitals.

She slept on.

It was 2:40 am, I was moaning like hell and the Ericks must have thought we had finally stumbled on page 127 of the Kama Sutra, you know the one with the two tennis racquets, a small credenza and a wooden mouse trap, yep that's the one.  Unfortunately that was only in my dreams, if I managed to ever get back to sleep that is.
I'm now limping from the waist down.

Reminds me of the time I was standing in the queue for a ice cream, I was limping from a recent football game and when I got to the front and asking for a cornet, he said “Crushed nuts?” I replied, “It's just the way I'm standing, mate!”
Word association working again.
A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog seller in Times Square, New York, “Can you make me one with
everything?”
3:30pm and it's off to the Spinnaker pub, about four miles away by bike, or walking, or car,if it comes to that, and watched England thrash Italy 59 – 13 and Sunderland got beat 2-1 at home to Spurs, damn!

Sunday 13th February 2011 and she's had her usual, with freshly squeezed orange juice.
Talking of “freshly squeezed”, I have discovered that I have a “Hemi”, a chalfont, and so along with my towel and washbag, I also carry an industrial sized tube of preparation “H”.  These things are a new experience to me, I thought they were just for ex-pregnant women and RAF pilots.
 My mother told me if I sat on cold steps I would get them and as there are are a dearth of those in Spain, where the hell do they come from?  I mentioned to SWMBO that I was popping up to the toilet to “Make an application”, and all she answered was, “What for, a job?”

Free advice on living with Chalfonts, don't develop a hacking cough so stop smoking, drink as much liquids (B&W) does the trick, so that you do not need to use the toilet strain bars less, and don't, repeat don't, carry your tube of preparation H in your washbag!  Thing is it's white and about the same size as my tube of Colgate, yep you're ahead of me all ready, my gums have receded and I cannot feel any of my teeth at all.
 Later in the day SWMBO gave me a quick kiss and told me that my Listerine just wasn't doing it anymore.
So bike rides may be a thing of the past for, well for whenever this thing shrinks from a beach ball  to something more manageable, perhaps I'll cut a hole on the seat?
Washing day again, what is it with her anyway, why do we have to be so bloody clean?
Underpants worn for 2 weeks and reversed every other Thursday is OK with me, what's the world coming to? 

Apparently it's going rain a bit in the next few days and she wants to get it done now.
2pm and we finally decided to give our brand new, unused set of Boules a try out.  Practice on the pitch next to us and then up to the Boules area.  Now the rules aren't rocket science and each individual boule is fairly obvious but getting this into blondie's head was almost more than I can take.  On the first few goes she hurls the jack clean out of the pit, claiming that it was lighter than the boules, well as it's 15 cm across and wood whereas the boules are 55 cm and made of steel, might account for it. 
 She was constantly telling me not to stand on my balls, watch out you'll trip over your balls, are your balls heavy, don't bang your balls together, your balls are getting scratched (don't know if that was a threat or a promise) and stop juggling your balls around you are putting me off, etc. and falling around giggling all the time.  She then went on the beat me 2 games to 1 and the last game was 10 – 3, my balls are going back in the box for the duration.

Sunday 14th February 2011, Valentine’s day!
After my shower, and an application used correctly, and get back to the MS and SWMBO's still in bed, well it's barely 10 o'clock, so I think, “Get back into bed for a cuddle”.  As she had knocked back a few G&T's last night all I got was a romantic “Bugger off and let me sleep!” 
She had got me card though.  BTW this is now real time!  She's just knocked over my bowl of Rice
Krispies and then picked them up and I'm picking bits of carpet fibre out of my teeth! 
Mercadona and Lidl (may God bless and keep it) for some groceries and then lie about in the sun.  May do the €15 a head Valentine’s day dinner in the restaurant tonight, but €30 is a lot of money, I'll think about it.
 Fix the kids photos on the wall with screws as the Blu-Tack solution just was not working and they kept falling down.  Also replaced the now rusted white headed screws that hold the MS side guards on, with new ones and put another washing line up.  Busy day all round.
Good news is that first born Adam is flying into Malaga with his new girlfriend on Friday 18th for a long week end with some relatives of hers.  We'll pick them up and drop them at Almuneca, where they're staying, round trip of 250 miles, I'll charge him for the diesel.
Stop press!  As the Valentine’s dinner has not had much take up, people are in fact staying away in droves, they've dropped the price to €13/head inc. drinks, may go after all.

Saturday 5th February 2011, RDM and all hell's not breaking loose.

No, quiet, sunny, warm, no wind, dreamy, on the point of being boring, not!

Tricia's "Utility handlebars".

Been having e-mail conversations with a fellow Calder 5er owner, "Z". It concerns utilising the hot exhaust gases from the MS furnace, they are very hot and waste a lot of heat, typical American inefficiency.

Now a little about "Z" (no names, no pack drill, but otherwise know as Paul Wright, 143 Acacia Avenue, Macclesfield, SK11 6BT), he's a recently de-frocked scout leader, model maker and itinerant air craft designer who, until recently, worked for BAe.

Unfortunately due to a blunder while re-designing a leading edge profile in Google Sketchup (AutoCad being outside his meagre grasp), an inadvertent movement of the cursor caused the whole fleet of Nimrods to be scrapped at a cost of £4B to us tax payers. He is now with AirBus, so the next time you get on an A320, count the engines.

He also has a severe lack of taste as he chose a rear lounge 5er, over the much superior rear kitchen layout i.e. mine.

Some slightly deeper background on “Z”.

He moved on from Acacia Avenue and now lives in his 5er and flits from CL to CL, just ahead of the authorities. He cohabits with a pretty young thing that he beguiled with the fact that she is slightly short sighted and the promise of a hefty inheritance from a sick uncle living in a 62 foot narrow boat on the lee shore of Wigan Pier. Living with them are a full sized stuffed kangaroo called “Benny”, two raggedy arsed Airedales, one call Rex, the other one not, and a one legged, one eyed, female, red bearded French parrot named “lucky”, who lives in a cage on top of the TV.

They are a basically happy couple who spend their days working and their evenings trying to get to grips with the finer points of “fives and threes”, fighting Ludo and who will win the 3:30 at Lincoln.

Anyroadup, as he would say, in discussion of how to harness this wasted heat and somehow direct it back into the MS without killing ourselves with carbon monoxide, amongst other things, it was decided to use some kind of heat exchanger. It is a particular problem for Z and his partner as their heating failed a few weeks ago and now they are reduced to Z sucking a “Fisherman's Friend” and she sits round his tongue, sometimes they light a candle if they are feeling flush.



VW HE



Nimrod MRA4 HE



He download me some schematics (sounds like something out of “24”) and after visiting a local scrap yard I came up with this. If it looks a bit like heat exchangers from a VW Beetle, circa 1972, that's because that's what it is, with some “Z” modifications of course. He originally had designed a couple of short stubby wings on it but I think that was just a old habitual genetic thing. It looks like a design by Heath Robinson when he did a stint on Blue Peter. Z also mentioned that he may be able to “get hold of”, his words not mine, a more sophisticated model and four days later this turned up, it's bomb bay heat exchanger unit from a MRA4 Nimrod, how odd?



The fitting instructions he sent were both very technical and vague, apparently the 58mm hole I have drilled through the back of the MS is a coffee cup stain. Also,I was to use “a Mil Spec, 1,000 volt insulated spade head screwdriver, with a bifurcated stem and demagnetised tip”, when I told him I did not have one his answer was “Ah...just use a coin”.

Of course if it works, next year we will be millionaires, if not, we'll be suffocated.

More later when I receive the blue prints from Z on how it will be attached and integrated into the MS heating system..

Meanwhile, cycle ride to Roquetas just for the joy of it, my toe(s) prevents long walks but not long cycles, although it would regale against using a penny farthing. Stopped for possibly the only bad tapas we have ever had in Spain, or anywhere else, if that matters. Back, lie in sun and read.

Tonight we are re-visiting the lamb stew with potatoes with some nice red wine. Doms and then we are going to get disk three of TLOTR, thank God I can drink tonight.

Sunderland got beat 3-2 off bloody Stoke City, damn!

Tomorrow it's still BAWID and chucky egg day, the latter first however.

Sunday 6^th February 2011.

A bull market (more like BS)

Off to the El Toro market at the, yep you guessed it, bullring. More upmarket market, not just “tat” clothes etc. Pulled a stroke and only took €21.74, how much did she spend, €21.74. A jumper and a piece of collectable porcelain and almost a wooden lizard, which apparently we will get next time when we will “BRING MORE MONEY”. BTW she has her own money but much prefers to spend mine as it “heightens” the shopping experiance.

Rest of the day lie in sun, eat lunch and dinner, watch final, thank God!, TLOTR, no doms, then bed. Just finished a Lee Child book that I remembered I had read two years ago, I remembered three pages from the end who had done it, dementia is not a completely bad thing I guess?

Monday 7^th February 2011, washing day, enough said.

Tuesday 8^th February 2011.



Vicar cycle ride



Vicar cycle ride



All that is planned is a short cycle to Mercadona for shopping and then take in the rays but changed our minds and went through to Vicar instead. Called in to Mercadona on the way back and as I was locking the bikes up outside a young Spanish chap came over and explained that my cycle lock should be stronger. What he was actually doing was trying to the the combination as I had not locked it yet. Kept my hand over the dials and after a while he lost interest and wandered off, Tricia



Vicar cycle ride, market



shopped and I stayed by the bikes.

Lunch and a lie down.

Sunday 30th January 2011, RDM and a pleasant sunny day, no washing.

Got up early, well before 9am that is, and needed one of the S's from the usual SSS fairly urgently, so armed with towel and wash bag I was off to block #2. Now because it was precisely 8:30 am when I got there the Ericks were already “checking in”. All the shower and wash basins were “booked” or in use but as I needed neither, no problems. After finished the paperwork came out and there was one shower available! Just then another “big” Erick came in and headed for it to plant his marker but I wanted my shower now! So I threw my towel towards the shower stall. Now there is a big plastic hook just inside the door to hang your clothes on, well it missed that and ended up on the wet floor, but it was now MINE, MINE I TELL YOU, MINE! Finishing my shower later and basically moving the wetness around my body with the soaking towel, did not diminish, in any way the feeling of justification and well being I felt for the rest of the day.

It's warmish and sunny and there are no oranges, the orange man didn't turn up!

Almeria prom

Had a drive to the promenade at Almeria, it was very crowded, my broken foot however, did not allow us to walk more than a mile or so.

Got back watched a TLOTR matinee and then had a game of draw dominoes which she won three games in a row, without even drawing a domino! Of course she likes this game now but I convinced her to play a “proper” doms game and beat her 3-2. Couple of Houses and then bed.

Monday 31^st January 2011, 7:40'ish, am.

What a weird dream last night, as part of my job I had won two weeks holiday for me and the missus on the Mediterranean, then I woke up. Confused as to what job I actually do now, er.....nowt, and how long have we got living next to the Mediterranean (about 300m away) er........will the rest of our lives do?

What really woke me up was an incessant beeping, which I thought was the LPG running out (a bit early?) and the fridge/freezer beeping with the epithet “no flo” (typical American spelling) flashing on it's panel. No it was some bloody big “cleaning?” machine, on the aforementioned beach, doing God knows what and flashing a yellow light and beeping, what's that all about then, 7:45am?

Went through to Alcampo in Almeria and bought a “Wheelie” carry on bag for out trips back home, it's a bloody long walk at the Gatwick end, I'm sure you walk from north to the south terminal. Also some photo frames and as they had a 1€ aisle, a few other bits and bobs as well.

Back for reading, lying in the sun (a bit), chilli con carne, doms (me) and House.

The shower scene in toilet block #2 is getting ridiculous, you know the old saying “If you can't beat 'em, join 'em”. Well I've got a new one, “Just beat 'em”.

A preamble, as almost 70% of the week is a non BAWID, I tend not to go to bed until about 1'ish, write this thing or read a book (Kindle) or surf the web, no, no, none of them “German and Swedish” channels, that's right out, and if she caught me anyway she's chop my hands off and then what's the point. On a standard BAWID I would normally pass out around 12'ish depending how much cheese, pickles, chillies, beetroot, crackers I could find. So I'm thinking, what useful thing could I do at this time of night that would make my life happier in the morning.

So it's 12:48 am and armed with an old towel and wash bag I surreptitiously creep off to toilet block #2 and “plant” my marker in shower stall #3. Next morning about 9'ish I wonder down there and it's full of Ericks and steam and an empty stall #3! You see they couldn't just remove it, it goes against all their beliefs and moral code, so I just swan in, pausing momentarily in one of the smaller cubicles and then take my leisurely shower. Let's see how long this tactic will last.

Tuesday 1^st February 2011, a new month starts!

Now I've finally figured out why our cooking etc. has “slowed down”, when we first started I had spent a small fortune changing the extant Calor bottles to GasLow (refillable) but kept the same on board regulator. Now propane needs a 37 millibar regulator and that's what it was. OK so we bought a 14.1 Kg Repsol propane gas bottle for €6 in a flea market about a year ago, of course it needs it's own regulator.

Trouble was the regulator sold to me by Phil the Greek was a butane regulator, 28 mb, I didn't notice at the time and we have been using it ever since. SWMBO noticed however that her stir fry didn't quite heat up as quickly as it used to and when ever the Repsol ran out and I temporarily switched back to GasLow, it did (being 37 mb propane).

Been trying to get a 37 mb regulator ever since and because it's warm down here, i.e. it never freezes, Butane, with it's higher calorific value (burns hotter) is the preferred version of LPG here.

So no 37 mb regulator to be found. So OK, swap for a 14.1 Kg butane bottle then and after a trip to the nearest Repsol garage a new butane bottle is now installed and working fine, now let's see if the stir fry is quicker and the bottle lasts longer.

SWMBO had been taking an interest in all this and asked why I swapping one orange gas bottle with another which to her was exactly the same. What was the point, foolishly I tried to explain it to her.

“OK, butane has a higher calorific value and therefore burns hotter, so your stir fry will cook quicker”. “Will we get fat?” “Er.......why?” “You said it had more calories, more calories means getting fat and I'm on a diet”. “Er..... no. no, what I mean is it just burns hotter but because the pressure is at 28 millibars it may be more economical for us”.

“Where is it, I didn't know we had one?”

“Have one what?”

“A mini bar silly, you just said we had one, where is it, under the fridge, could do with a G&T mind?”

“Look we haven't got a mini bar, all this is about is using Spanish gas bottle instead of the GasLow to save money, OK?” “Is it?” “Er....is it what?” “Is the gas low, because if it is I'll never get my stir fry done, can we use electric?” Where's that gun?

Anyway, we are now happily using butane, everything works OK and the flames on the oven and hobs are definitely higher.

Evening meal was perch and vegetables, followed by Doms (I won) then a row of Houses.

Wednesday 2^nd February 2011, still warmish and sunny.

Really hungry when I got up this morning and as there was some smoked salmon left over from Tricia's Sunday breakfast, I thought I would have the same, smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and toast. Five minutes later, toast from a freshly baked baguette from site shop, two organic scrambled eggs, Atlantic salmon (smoked), freshly squeezed orange juice (picked and squeezed by me), more toast with marmalade made by Henk, next door and red label English tea. My God some people think this camping lark is easy but sometimes we just struggle by.

Obviously missed my early shower so I wonder if my towel is still holding them off?

Today we may give both little and large toes (sounds like a comedy act) a trial cycle run up to the Spinnaker pub, about 4 miles along the beach, as there is no wind it looks OK'ish.

Just ordered this brilliant piece of kit, £20 inc. post from Amazon. Basically it's an interface between external storage and a TV. In the not so olden days you could copy DVDs on to your computer and watch them on that thereby reducing the number of DVDs you carried around. Trouble was you were limited to watching them on laptop screen, maximum screen size 17”? or playing them on the TV through your laptop, and also you used up your usual 300GB disk capacity.

This thing talks via USB to anything, external disk drive, USB sticks and to various memory cards and plugs via HMDI direct to your TV, no computer in the loop at all, awesome. So buy a 1 TB external disk drive (£70) and you can fit over 250 DVDs on to it, no more DVD libraries to carry about and/or get scratched.

Were going for a bike ride to Roquetas town but the weather is so nice decided to lie around instead and read.



Roquetas 8pm



Ditto

About 8pm, it was dark and we went for a drive to the beach, don't even think about it, SWMBO still thinks a “dogging” site is somewhere you take Fido for a walk. The object was to take the “star” shots that I've been promising myself to do. Was pretty dark but the promenade lights were still on and so not very good, will have to try another part of the beach or go later still. SWMBO was really nervous because earlier this week she had seen two black guys, obviously fruit pickers, riding home from work on their cycles but, because it's relatively cold, were wearing full face balaclavas with holes cut in for mouth and eyes; not a pretty or comfortable sight. So when we got there she locked the car doors and refused to come out.



Thursday 3^rd February 2011, 18°C, blue skies, no wind, bloody terrible I tell you.

Last night chicken curry followed by Skyping the kids and 3 episodes of House, end of series 5.

Went for the delayed bike ride, up to the Spinnaker pub via La Salinas beach, for a quick coffee, pictures were taken. SWMBO always likes to have command of the compact camera, she keeps it in her cycle pannier.

So we are peddling along and it's “Stop must take a picture of that!” either a bird, a dog a cat or some bloke fishing, but it will be something we already have a 100 or so of already. She also stopped for a bit exercise, bloody idiot!

Exercise!

So we stop, bike on stand, undo pannier clips, take out camera, remove camera case, stand forever to take a scenic scene shot (it doesn’t move, Pet!), then repeat procedure in reverse. Try this every 200 m and it gets on your tits. Inspiration! The €1 camera case I bought at Lidl (may God keep and save it) has a Velcro fastening, so I tied the case to the handlebars and all she has to do is stop, pull the camera out and take the shot, simples. No, she still stops, bike on stand, take ages framing the picture and same as, same as etc. But the front of her cycle now festoons, bell, light and holder, camera and cycle computer. She now wants me to call her Batwoman as instead of a utility belt she has a utility handlebar.

Roquetas castle

Back for a read in the sun and some coffee and cake.

Tonight it's lamb chop casserole and vegs, followed by no beer, no wine, no G&T, no whiskey and ginger, perhaps a fizzy Fanta lemon, looking forward to that. Tomorrow it's BAWID!

Series 6! House is out of the psychiatric hospital, oops, spoiled it.

Doms, me 3-0 and she's depressed.

Bed 1:35 am, after 3 small cans of non alcoholic beer (what's the point?), 2 cans of Nestles lemon tea and a diet coke.

Friday 4^th February 2011, BAWID in 10 hours. Dateline 6am.

Woke up to an incessant bleeping, no it wasn't SWMBO sleep swearing again, it was the carbon monoxide detector, either detecting or the batteries had run out, as we were still alive I figured it was the latter. SWMBO did actually start bleeping at this point along the lines of “Shut that bloody thing up now or I “bleeping” well give you a smack round the head!” As it was 6am I could understand her slightly irate manner, she's not what you would call a morning person. Then again I'm not really sure about, afternoon, evening or night.

Changed batteries and I as was up, I stayed up, why not, get some typing done, one less thing?

Now I didn't realise this at the time but I was sure I could hear some kind of chanting coming from SWMBO's side of the bed, thought nothing of it. Turns out she has been watching “the extras” disk from TLOTR and has managed to learn a few spells from the Mordor Acme book of spells and incantations, 101.

10 minutes later I came to, and apparently I had put both the electric and gas furnace heating systems on and slipped a refilled hot water bottle into her bed, and began toast and scrambled eggs! Those disks are going in the bin, mate. The last time I slipped her one in the morning (please! a refilled hot water bottle!), I did not see her again until 10 minutes past noon. It's now 10:40 am and counting.

It reminds me of the trance that comes over you when you are using a PC, I call it SST, or screen saver trance. What happens is that the PC goes into screen saver mode and if, like me, you've got it on Picasa or Google pictures, say goodbye to the next 45 minutes. Mines set on My Pictures, pan and zoom with a 7.2 second delay, which has been scientifically proven to be the exact time to keep your attention span until you say “Where TF was that!” and then it changes.

Rumour has it that first born Adam is going out with one of the Psychics from the TV show he producers, used to be on the tits and bums “Playboy like” channel but he found the going too hard so moved on.

Now where's the fun in going out with someone who knows what you are going to do, where you've been and where you will be tomorrow, and if she says “lets flip a coin for who's doing the washing up”, buy yourself a new pinny mate. I mean come on Son, as he once said to me, “Why do blind people wear dark glasses? You'd think they would at least give themselves half a chance.” Ditto, mate, ditto.

Today, bike ride to Aguadulce and back, some shopping, forecast is for the next 10 days, sunny, blue skies, no wind, heaven.