Swins 2010 2011 tour, where are we now?: June 2011

Friday, 24 June 2011

Thursday 16th June 2011, BP and a visit to a mountain.

Tricia had been banging on to go visit some place called Morella, a castle town up in the mountains. I didn't particularly want to go, no reason just did not fancy it but we went.
As she wanted to go “the pretty way” the as the crow flies, 60 miles became 2 hours and 85 miles, no doubt not helped by following a major road that did not exist on either our 1 year old map or the GPS and ended up at an new unfinished airport that was not there?

Got to the place and my word it's impressive, pictures tell everything I think. Took a picnic which also helped and with only €3 to get into the castle, plus diesel, not an expensive day.
Day started by going to the market and getting 10 kgs of oranges to take back with us and then off we went.

The castle is over 1,000 m at it's tallest point (why would I mention any other point?) with a narrow road for most of the way and then 98 steps, on a notice board, to the top. Sopped for coffee before we started, circumnavigated the castle first and then, picnic and the assent.

Drive back was left to the GPS and we ended up more or less going back the same way.
Into town where we have found a nice café / bar where we get two small beers and two tapas which Tricia eats, varies between, tuna, egg and black pudding on bread, she eats them all. Back for boules and doms, I win the first, she the second and by the time that is finished along with dinner we are sitting outside in 26°C, drinking red wine and it's getting dark at 10 o'clock, bed.

Friday 17th June 2011, final washing and some packing hoping for a lazy day on Saturday.

No walks, no cycles as by the time we have finished we are knackered.
Up to town, same pub and same result, same games and bed.
Saturday 18th June 2011, BP and “lazy” day not!

Packing and cleaning all day, quick boules, and then final night dinner in the town, fantastic, same Pizza place and superb food and a nice bottle of house red. Rolled back foe some doms, her and then bed with the plan of a 7 o'clock wake up and gone by 8:30 am.

Sunday 19th June 2011, bye, bye, BP, hello Mendigorria.

Left on time after getting out the evening before and parking on the road, thing is that you pay the day before, they read your electric meter at 5pm and as soon as that's over, “everything” goes back on electric, and we had the A/C on most of the evening, going to bed at less than 26°C was a God's send.
A mere 350 uneventful miles later, she ate like there was no tomorrow (so what's new?) and we are safely tucked up in Mendigorria, on a slight slant, but it's only for the one night.
Had a bit of a fright as the landing legs would not extend. Tricia had just put the slideout out and it had drained the batteries? I think they are finished as although we have 4 we have never actually used them as leisure batteries as we have always been on mains power and they are not balanced (2 x 110 AH and 2 x 85 AH), you live and learn I guess. Dinner was assorted tapas. i.e. everything we had bits of left. So it was chicken drumsticks, pizza, fish fingers and salad, not too bad, or a few red wines or five. Doms, me, finish my book and then a 10° off horizontal bed.

Monday 20th June 2011, Mendigorria and she's freezing to death, she says.

OK, she's still in bed but it's 8 am so I'm up, it's 17°C and she's mentioning something about a penguin?

Plan is to stooge about until chucking out time, 11 am, but judging by the Spanish last night, that's just ignored but I think we will be on our way about then for the 130 mile run to Brittany Ferries in Bilbao for about 4 pm. Just going to reverse straight off the pitch and turn back up the calle we came down on. Hopefully we can get parked at the port in a place where we can get the slide out a bit, maybe a table and chairs? There is, supposedly a restaurant, toilets and showers there, be nice if true and open.
The site guys started to water the grass so before we had to cross too many water pipes we decided to go, 11 am a bit earlier than we originally intended but just take our times. Filled up with €1.24/litre diesel and 130 uneventful mikes later we are parked, with only one lorry, in the car park of the port. Everything is shut.

Well when I say “uneventful”, there was a point when we stopped for some lunch when we got a bit worried. We had been hearing lots of stories of people being made to stop, by the passenger in large cars using hammers to break your lights and then robbed. We made slight preparations, .22 mm air gun, bag of 720 gram boules, catapult and an assortment of marbles, one can of Mace and a water pistol filled with home made chilli spray, oh, and a baseball bat, thought we had covered most angles. As we had parked up the “eastern” looking guy, reasonably dressed came up and walked round the rig, giving it a good looking at. Then in the restaurant we see him again and he looks like he's been there a long time as his table is full of half empty 2 litre bottles of water and varies sweet wrappers. We we are thinking he is a “spotter” and phones ahead to his associates of likely candidates, paranoid I know. So I gets up and points my Nokia at him and take his picture, he's up like a shot and outside and stays out there smoking, until we leave, all weapons are suddenly at hand. Really need not have worried because the motorway was so busy and full, no one, short of the real uniformed Police could have stopped anybody. Back to the car park at Bilbao.

Two hours later and there is about half a dozen Brits complaining about how difficult it was to find the place, so we all get our chairs and tables out and take in the sun. A couple of the passengers also told us that they had been informed via mobile that the ferry may not sail, where was our communication via CCC? Mind I would have just worried all the way there. Spanish guy appears and tells us that we can check in now and then be in our lanes, with all the paperwork done, ready to board in the morning. One Brit guy who had just put his stabilisers down etc. starts complaining to me that he has just set up and why should he move? “Well just stay there then, mate!”
Front of our lane, table out, food out, B&W out, sun out, bliss.

Small motorhome arrives right next to us and I go and see if our extended wing mirrors are in his way. “Will you be OK there?” “Oh, you're a Sunderland lads then, south of the river I would guess?” Bloody hell that was very clever and more to the point spot on. “So how did you figure that one ?” “I married a girl from there”. So here we have Mike and Gwen. She was one year younger than me and we went to the same school and liver about two streets away in Thorney Close, Sunderland, small world indeed! So they joined us for more beer and wine informing us that they now lived in Hartlepool, poor buggers. Many wines (some spilled by yours truly) and beers later and it's midnight and time for bed. Me up at about 7 am and at 8 am they looked like they were starting loading, as the car loading park was now more that half full. No sign from Mike and Gwen so I decided to give them a knock. A pair of weary ladies eyes appeared at the and then lots of banging and shouting as they panicked to get up and out. Turns out they still had another hour but who's to know”

Now we, other than that lorry, were the first ones to arrive yesterday, who was dead last on, yep, us!
So I drive up this very steep ramp and then it was indicated that I turn round at the back of the ship (very tight!) and then form a queue pointing the other way, this ship was not RORO. The plan the next day was that the ramp would be lowered again and I was parked so I could drive straight off, but a bit too close to it in order to get the rig straight I thought, worry about that when the time comes, yeah right, lets start worrying now. Or it could have been, all the stuff in front of us drives off, (last again) and we have then to circumnavigate the ship to get back to the ramp and off.

On check in we were given our room keys so it was straight there and unpack and out again just in time to get the last “English” breakfast and for £10 was very good value. Booked dinner which made me laugh and summed up Brits. Now the ship is on GMT so we all put our watches back one hour giving us an extra hour in the day. Now most Brits, when booking dinner, tend to go for 7:30 pm to 8pm, it's the normal thing. Brittany have two sittings, 6:30 pm and 9 pm, probably figuring that 6:30 pm is really 7:30 pm and would fit in with our body clocks for that day, er no.

Rather large queue former at noon when you could book your dinner table. I'm standing off to the front of the queue deciding whether to join it now or wait and for nearly every passenger I hear; “Table for two for 7:30 pm thank you”. “Sorry Sir, first sitting is 6:30 pm and we need to fill that first”. “Table for two for 7:30 pm thank you”, through slightly tighter lips. Same reply with “We could put you on a waiting list for 7:30 pm?” "All right then, we'll do that”. (?!) They simply could not change their eating patterns as 6:30 pm was “far too early” although in reality it was correct for their body clock.
I gets to the to the front of the queue and ask for two at the first sitting and we are in! Turns out later Tricia got seasick and we had to cancel.

Watched “The King's Speech” with Colin Firth, no he was in it silly and we both really enjoyed it. Bed after some soup and sandwiches, she wasn’t that ill and bed.
Next morning, just coffee and we pack and the ship arrives, on time, 9:30 am in Portsmouth. We do have to go down the ramp and I persuade the guy behind me in a original green VW camper, who is going straight to Glastonbury BTW, to get in front and I will then be able to get the room I need, and it worked fine.

A3, M25, M23 and A264 and we are home.
That's it folks, until next season beginning.............................who knows?

John and Tricia Swinhoe signing off for now.

Packing up

All ready for the off to El Molino

Last night, scene fron Star Wars?

Last night dinner

Last night, Star Wars at night

On the A23 to Mendigorria

Parked next to our pitch last year!

Mendigorria to Bilbao

Er, anyone here?

Let's get comfy then

More comfy?

Parked up on board Cap Finistair

Bye, bye, season three?

First in line and last on

But first off!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Friday 10th June 2011, and not long to go, good God it's mid 20's at night over here and a maximum of 15°C in Forest Row (and raining!).

Back to Wednesday and I think we don't have a gas leak after all. After checking every joint for a third time, it appears that the fridge/freezer is the culprit! If the setting is turned down to “2” the bloody thing thinks it means “Max” and is on nearly all the time, should have noticed because if I left my beers in it all day, OK hard to believe I know, and they are almost frozen. Also the freezer had to be defrosted for the first ever time mid stay. Turned it down to “1” and we get another week out of the Repsol bottle, let's see how long the new one lasts.

Wednesday morning did the third in a row of our “fast” walks of three miles through the town and along the beach, both get back very sweaty and knackered. Made a fresh batch of chilli with my remaining fresh chillies and then read for the rest of the day. Tricia couldn't play boules as she was so tired.

I had been down to Mercadona and noticed they had some pasties in, some kind of veggie and tomato filling, tasted OK. Walked in the door and showed her a pasty, she actually jumped in her seat and her eyes rolled to the back of her head, then pretended she hadn't even noticed it. “Do not, under any circumstances, take up Poker, Pet, you'll lose more than your shirt!” Offered one to her, “No don't want it, on my diet, take it away, where are you going?” “OK I'll try a half of one, that's all”. I left the other half on the table and said sianohra to it, it would not be there when I got back from the washing up, it wasn't.

Last of “As good as it gets”, fried chicken and veggies, doms, she won! Bed ready for Valencia tomorrow.

Thursday 9th June 2011, Valencia!

Up at 7:30 am and tried to wake SWMBO was just this side of impossible as this hour of the morning doesn’t actually exist to her. “Wake up Pet, it's 7:30 am”. “Er...what, what, what time is it I'm still aslee..............ZZZZZZ”. (read snore) She actually fell asleep mid sentence and started snoring, honest! Eventually got her up at about 8'ish and we set about getting ready for the trip. I was assigned the all important job of the sandwiches, corned beef and branston, chicken and mayo, water and fruit.
Went for the €1.40, 11 mile, bus trip from Benicassim to Castellon, which took about forty minutes and dumped us about a mile and a half from the railway station, we had stayed on it hoping it would eventually get closer but it didn't and we had to get off at the terminus and walk back. Got the train tickets, €4.40, 40 mile journey, by watching a Spanish girl work the “automatic” ticket machine. Now it was cheap, but by heavens it was slow, one and a half hours and stopped everywhere. So by the time we got to Valencia it was nearly 1 o'clock, half the day gone already, cheap though, little did I know!

Wandered up to the Plaza Reina, stopped on the way to eat our sandwiches, where the tour buses were located, one is the historical route, we did that 2 years ago and takes in the Bio Park, which was fantastic. The other was the maritime route which passes the Science Park where we were headed. Coffee at €5.20, bloody hell, and after ages finally got someone to take our money for some tickets, take, it was stolen! €30 for the tour bus and €60 for the Park tickets.
SWMBO spots a market and as the “B” bus wasn't in yet dashes off and then almost straight away dashes back as the bus turns up. At about the same time as this there is some kind of protest going on with a lot of people shouting into megaphones and generally cluttering up the pavements, don't know to this day what it was all about.
So we get on and I'm following the couple up the spiral staircase of the Routemaster, London type bus, just at the top the wind blows her frilly skirt up, I was sorely tempted to say “Nice Beaver”, copying Leslie Nielsen in “Airplane”, (you must have seen it) but I refrained.

Three stops later and we are at the Science Museum. In through security (yes, big time, X-ray and all that stuff), use the toilets, she never misses a chance, and over to the entrance to the museum. Stick tickets in the ticket reader and nothing? Eh? Spanish girl comes over and after explaining that we have the wrong tickets, only for the Oceanographic bit and not the others halls. Yep, thought I asked and got charged for, the whole thing, turns out I was not. Guess what the OG is about a mile away, so we trudge off, mind you what a place, you think you have just stepped into the 23rd century.

Gets to the OG, more security and we are in, superb, and it's a good job we only got the one because we spent over 4 hours just there, you would probably need two days to see all three properly. Anyway, we had a good time there, see the millions of pictures SWMBO took, I used the video. Out and went looking for the tourist bus stop as we wanted to finish our tour, half way between stops it turns up, bugger, half an hour before the next one. Ah! If we walk fast/run we can get ahead of it to the next stop as it has to double back on itself, sweaty but made it. So the rest of the tour is the port and the rest of the city and then back to base.

Obviously we were way beyond being late for our intended 5 o'clock train and had therefore to go for the last one at 8 o'clock, miss that and it's hotel time. Meandered back to the station with SWMBO looking in as many shops as possible, me saying through clenched teeth “We need to book those tickets!” Got there and booked two €6.10 each, express rail tickets for the Tortosa train, stopping at Benicassim, no ruddy buses taking hours, this time it would be about an hour only.

We had an hour to kill, she was peckish so we went looking for a Café or bar for a drink and some nibbles as we were planning on eating in Benicassim on the 1 mile walk from the station to the MS. So we are wandering around and it's, “No, too busy, no, too near the road, no, too dirty, no, don't like it.” for, well for a long time as we ambled aimlessly away from the station. Just when we had got to the point when I would guess we had actually left the environs of Valencia, she says, “Mind, there was a lovely little café in the station.” Retraced our steps and found it, but the “lovely” bit was closed, so it was a couple of beers and a cake for 'er indoors and the 8:12 train.

Pleasant journey completely spoilt by this tosser of a middle aged woman who was continually texting with the keyboard sounds on loud. “Beep, beep, beep, then beep.....beepbeep....beep” Give me strength and the real thing was I had at first thought it was just a noise the train was making until SWMBO pointed it out, thanks a bunch, Pet! She just went on and on and I was just about at the point where I was going to wrench the bloody thing off her and shove it up.......when she got off.
Went to the Pizzeria in town where apparently we had been two years ago, it was so memorable I couldn't remember it, and then SWMBO told me the service and food and the time it took was crap. Dear God! Why did she let us come here again anyway! Something must have happened because everything was great, super pizza, wine, desert (her) and brandy, €50, don't care and drifted home at 11:30 pm in the dark. Brilliant day!

Friday 10th June 2011, BP and the forecast is gloomy.

For some reason I read for a while last night and still got up, bright as a bright thing, at 6:15 am, she was out, and I mean for the count.
Did things on the computer and finally SSS before Tricia emerged into the new day looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Breakfast and the promise of visitors, Steve and Anita were leaving and popping round to say goodbye, soon put paid to that and she was bright as a button 30 minutes later.

Washing, same as, same as. I changed the gas bottle, still €14, hasn't gone up? So we will see how long this one lasts with the new fridge setting.
Then the heavens opened along with lots of thunder and lightening, rivers formed in the calle, so that's our game of boules off then? Dinner was my chilli con carne with home made chips, fried in chilli oil, put the bog roll in the fridge now I guess?

Doms, me, 3 – 1.

No DVD's to watch, even for the gazillionth time, so we read until we start to fall asleep.
Saturday 11th June 2011, BP and I still don't know what tickets we have.

Against all odds I applied and got (won?) two tickets for the Olympics next year, they are not the opening ceremony (ha!) but as I applied for a few events I don't know what we have, where we sit, morning or afternoon, which events etc. What I do know is that they have taken £146 from my credit card and will sit on that for a year, think about it, 6 million tickets, average £200? That's about, conservatively nearly £4 million in interest they will get.

SSS this morning and in walks this Erick and he's humming and brumming, (imagine a mixture of cymbals, snare drum and a tuba) as they do, a tune, I thought it was familiar, So I'm just finishing the paperwork and I realise it's “The Floral Dance!” I nearly wet myself laughing, mind I was in the best place to do it. You do get the odd whistler, (not the painter silly) and some do sing, I've listened to a harmonica in Pamplona and once I'm sure I heard an accordion, but I'm hoping that it was outside, think of all that squeezing in and out, you'll catch your vitals I'm sure.

I have decided to have my breakfast when I get up instead of waiting for SWMBO as it's getting nearer to lunch and certainly brunch by the time she gets up. 9:15 am now, been up since 7 am, so I'm starting on my rice crispies and banana followed by a nice Columbian coffee.

I think today we will get back to cycling as I haven't been on my old bike for a while now, no sniggering at the back there Mr Swan.

Still reading one of those Dan Brown type books (Kindle) and it makes me weep sometimes that people want to believe or start a new religion based on the paintings of Leonardo da Vinci. For instance they talk about “The Last Supper” painting as if it was historical fact, Da Vinci died in the 1500's what the hell insight did he actually have? Still reading it thoughbut.

22 Miler to Castellon and back via the port and a coffee, hot and sweaty. Boules and doms, both me and then fish (fingers), peas and chips, then watched “Spaceballs the movie”, a satire of Star Wars, a Mel Brooks film and very funny. Bed.

Sunday 12th June 2011, BP and the normal Sunday fayre for breakfast. (1 week to go!)

The mossies seem to have gone on holiday but the flies have replaced them, as soon as you leave the door of the MS open, they’re in! SWMBO doesn't like this and as soon as it happens she's after them with the fly spray, normally I don't mind but when she sprays my marmalade on toast, I have to draw the line. She was chasing one belligerent little bugger this morning and I don't know if it was the recent reference to Star Wars or not but I distinctly heard her say, as she swept passed, aerosol in hand, “The Force is strong with this one”. (?)

Today we go back to the fast walk that nearly killed us last week but this time we will do it in the evening. So it's lying in the sun, playing boules and pretty much nothing else until then.

Two Irish families, well one North and the other South, Brian and Dennis, are leaving tomorrow, been OK company with the odd conversation at the PWC of an evening.

The man who can't be arsed to move is finally moving around, been talking to people and went for a ride on his bike the other day! We did really think he was suffering from something, like necrophilia, which of course we all know as “sleeping sickness” brought on by being bitten by dead pornographic mossies. Note;- SWMBO, clever sod that she thinks she is, all right maybe she is, with all the crossword nonsense she's always doing, has told me it should be narcolepsy, spoilt an otherwise good little story that did!

Fast walk with a coffee and tapas in town, dinner outside of baked potatoes, chilli for me and tuna and sweetcorn for Tricia. Then doms, me, and as we had already played boules which I won also, I thought I should go for the triple and persuaded her to play cribbage. It was dark when I beat her by one point, she went straight to bed sobbing, bless.

Monday 13th June 2011, BP and they are leaving in droves.

SSS early and then wait for communal breakfast as the “few” beers she had last night. (I know, very unusual for SWMBO, the drinking of beer but I think she was drowning her sorrows, see later)
This is as empty as we have ever seen BP. The management have even extended their “low” season prices until 14th July, which is unprecedented, to encourage people to stay a little longer, we are not, as us and most Brits have a ferry to catch. Also travelling back through France in July is very busy and very expensive, we know, we did it once, never again.

The plan this week is to get as much tanning in before we get home, buy in bulk all the cheap things we like here to take back and sort the MS and Truckasarus ready for the run home.

SWMBO has decided to clean the fridge, she does this by leaving the door open while she takes things out to clean, I tell her to shut the door now and again as all the cold is getting out and she replies that “I am not an idiot, I know what I'm doing!” “When I'm not sure about the first one and cannot fully agree with the second”. Unfortunate for me on two counts, one, as I spoke this riposte under my breath, she still heard it and two, she was holding a rather over ripe tomato in her hand. I'm not sure the stains will come out of my best white T shirt and I'm going to have to wash my hair again.
Down to Mercadona for some odd bits and this young woman comes up to SWMBO and tries to sell her some hip/thigh reducing cream, I arrived and she said, “Thank God, you got here just in time, I was about to slap her!”

Boules and she won for the first time in weeks, not planning any card games tonight as she may be on a roll.

Scorcher today but kinda windy so the bike ride is off. I cleaned the car in the shade of the trees, removing the accumulated bird crap off it, what do these birds eat? Then reading a bit and then off for our fast'ish three mile walk, cerveza and tapas for the second time running at the same pub. (black pudding on bread, which she ate both bits, again!)

Dinner is fillet steak, salad, fried potato, grilled mushrooms and peas, yummy.

Beat me at doms, but thank the Lord I won at cribbage, she can't really think she can emulate my recent achievements can she? Absolutely not, says so in the scriptures.
Zulu (not to the end) and bed. (sounds a bit perverted that does)

Tuesday 14th June 2011, BP and the 20+ miler is due today.

Going to cycle through to the Decathlon sports store for a pair of reasonably priced trainers as when I get back I'm going back to playing tennis again. Washing first unfortunately.

TMWCBATM, The man who can't be arsed to move, is back to his old tricks, mind if you call sitting there all day, staring into the middle distance, a trick, I think we could all manage that with little expertise or effort. We have also have a German who is a real “character”, (read nutter) , he tends to throw up most mornings, goes the the shower block in his underpants and plays his music loud now and again, bless.

An absolutely weird thing happened the other night. We were cutting for the first deal in cribbage, for a laugh I said, “You'll get the seven of diamonds and get the five of hearts”. And guess what, I got the three of spades and she the four of clubs. No, sorry couldn't resist that. No it was exactly as I predicted, how spooky is that?

The two Spanish families that were her for over a week left and as they were just pulling out we noticed that they had left their, newly purchased for the week, charcoal BBQ, shouted to them but they didn't want it so now we have a perfectively serviceable BBQ, inc fire starters and charcoal!
The cycle ride turned out to be 27 miles, two pairs of shorts, one Hawaiian (don't ask, for an upcoming party) , a cycle lock, and trainers, courtesy of Decathlon, €38 the lot, can't be bad. On the way out she stopped a TWO Cotes De Ingles and managed to buy nothing as the dress she had seen a couple of weeks ago had gone, result!

As we rode away from the store about 5 pm I hear “I'm hungry”, it's like having a small child in tow. “What about the banana you were going to bring?” “I ate it before we left”. God preserve us.
Back and boules, me, doms, her, no cribbage as it was getting too dark and also I didn't want to risk another defeat, and a fantastic salad for dinner with some Rioja.
Last of “Zulu” and then bed.
Wednesday 15th June 2011, BP and it's a day at the beach as it is just too hot to do anything else.

After scouring all the local Chinese “Bazaar” shops for a Frisbee and they having only bent ones, got one that had a propeller in the middle of it and was the correct shape. Totally useless, unless of course you wan a Frisbee that always zooms off to the right. A while back we bought a load of microwave proof cooking bowls with lids, yep you guessed it the bloody lids are the best Frisbees around.

The UG, Underpanted German was in the shower cubicle next to me this morning, the gurgling, choking and belching noises he was making were beyond description and I would dread to be the guy walking in after him, I think your feet would stick to the floor, wet or not. Oh, and another thing, whilst showering the other night he was having a conversation with his wife who was in the ladies shower, next door, just like farting in a lift, wrong on so many levels.

I've been waiting for the € rate to change in my favour, in vain, for a few weeks now and it fluctuates between 1.1 and 1.2, where have the days of €1.45 to the £ gone and, more importantly, will they ever return? Which reminds me of another, pre €, MP sketck called “The Money Programme”.

Good evening, and welcome to The Money Programme. Tonight on The Money Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change. Some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fiver's stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean cheques, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigree'd copper plating cheek by jowl rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books!!

But I love money. All money. I've always wanted money. To handle! To touch! The smell of the rain-washed florin! The lure of the lira! The glitter and the glory of the guinea! The romance of the ruble! The feel of the franc! The heel of the Deutschmark! The cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc! And the sunburnt splendour of the Australian dollar!

I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge
I've got lost of lovely lira, now the deutschemark's getting dearer
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash
Some people say it's folly but I'd rather have the lolly
With money you can make a splash
There is nothing quite wonderful as money
There is nothing like a newly minted pound
Everyone must hanker for the butchness of a banker
It's accountancy that makes the world go round.

Unfortunately I don't think anyone wants to hanker to be a banker, more like a wanker, that they are theses days, I hate them all.

Wednesday evening after spending a couple of hours on the beach with our new Frisbee, she's absolutely useless at it, back for a shower and then back into town for tapas and beers, SWMBO had four tapas. Doms her and then read until time for bed, as we don't finish doms until after ten, no time for film. Read a bit and then typing this at 1am as I can't sleep.

Tried to take a few pictures of the Earth eclipse of the moon, not so good.

Next and final blog for the season will be next week, home on Wednesday 22nd June and the relative cold weather, ugh!

The long rail journey

Valencia station

Valencia station and bull ring

Plaza Riena

Science park

Oceanographic park

Train home

Late evening meal after Valencia

Earth eclipse?

New shorts

BP at night 2 sec delay

Add caption

Free BBQ

Coffee on 27 miler

The magic store, turns lots of € into nothing

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Thursday 2nd June 2011, BP and she's found another shopping centre!

Yep, yesterday we decided to drive to Alcampo at the commercial centre on the “Ronda”, ring road around Castellon, near to the Nike outlet and Leroy Merlin, also to check out the train and bus time to Valencia. Trying to park in the free station car park was a joke and the local Spanish on seeing someone, especially if foreign, will try to direct you to a space they have their private car in and move it so you can get in and then try and charge you money for the service, we just drove straight out again.

Alcampo turns out to be in the middle of a huge shopping Mall! Didn't buy much but I had an overwhelming urge for a Whopper, er...from Burger King that is. After a short “conversation” we did, €7.70 for a burger, haven’t had one for over two years but I was sure they were cheaper than that. Filled up with Gasol (diesel) at €1.24/litre, not bad and then back for boules.

Christian, our neighbour had gone somewhere (?) to pick up his trailer because he had been fined three times for pulling his car on an “A” frame, illegal in Spain. Hells Teeth! Wished I'd got a picture of it as it was the “Mother” of all trailers, I think I could have got the MS on that one. Every bloke that walked past spent about half an hour admiring it.

So as we did not get the train times etc. we decided to cycle in today, OK 22 miles +, but no problemo to us now. The bus station is for long distance journeys, even saw one for Berlin! The train station next door is massive and basically the trains run to Valencia every 20 minutes or so.
Back through the town, coffee and then down Avenue del Mar to the port of El Grau and then back via a boardwalk along the beach that an English couple, Steve and Anita, had told us about, much better than the road which we had used for a total of 5 months.

Boules me, after SWMBO won, yesterday, dinner and then the Bourne trilogy that Steve had lent us. Brian, an Irish guy, had told Tricia that they had lots of DVDs and we could swap as we had now seen ours about a gazillion times already. Went over with our section and all they had was free stuff you get with the Daily Mail, “Upstairs, Downstairs”, that sort of thing, er....no thanks. But he did have three that looked as though they might be OK, see later.

Friday 3rd June 2011, BP and we are Jonny no mates again.

The car and caravan that parked right behind us went first thing and then Christian and his wife Nell, were on their way, after struggling to connect his trailer, and with his three slide out Cayman Monaco and trailer was now, apparently illegal again at 16.8 metres long, 1.8 metres too much! Might as well have kept the “A” frame!

Today, being a bit overcast, we are going to drive to the newly opened Brickomart, near the Alcampo centre, nothing much else to do I guess, and we did.

Game of boules which was curtailed by rain and darkness, she's 1 up.

Gazebo on sale for €37 so we will go again on Monday when we can get parked in the car park because it's full to the gunnel’s today. Also called into the mall to get some Union Jack cups but eventually didn't, only two. New Chinese market opened along the road and had a look in, big! Walk around the town and the beach and then chicken for dinner which I did not eat, just not hungry.
They have a weird T&C's for internet here, one day €8, one week, €15 and then 30 days €25 and I only wanted 2 weeks, so it's the 30 days and try and sell it when we leave for, well, anything.
Bourne then bed and the next morning, born again, geddit!

Saturday 4th June 2011, BP and a run to Oropesa.

To go and see a big craft market which turns out is not on the 4th June but the 4th July, still 13 miles cycle ride and a coffee can't be bad I guess. Got back as the heavens were turning black, thunder roared and it rained a bit. Walk to Lidl (MGBAKI) for nothing really, Mercadona shopping. Replay of the last boules game, she won and then another fresh game which I won.

Last of Bourne tonight along with pizza and some red wine, oh all right, lots of red wine.
Sunday 5th June 2011, BP and the bloody Spanish are noisy, dirty and leave litter all over the place.
Yep, that about sums them up I'm afraid, whenever they turn up the whole place goes, literally to shit. Toilets become pretty bad and there is always food left in the sinks, kids chuck litter everywhere, run across pitches, but I guess this is their country but I'm paying €15/day for MY pitch and clean facilities. Rant over.

Started with poached eggs on toast with marmalade on toast to follow, then coffee and the online version of the Telegraph.

Anyway, today it was the 22 miles run to Castellon with a stop at the port for a coffee and we came back the inland route and the “killer” bank against the wind. It's really just a slight incline but at one and a half miles and against the wind, it is a killer. Stopped to watch some 10 year olds playing football, well it's live!

Got back and watched Nadal beating Federer 3 – 1 to win the French open for the 6th time, captain wedgey strikes again.

The Spanish were having a BBQ in the middle of our Calle, with smoke everywhere, nice.
There's this Dutch guy across from us, arrived just after us, he just sits in the same chair, looking in the same direction every day! Never seen him actually move, his wife just cleans around him.
Two things you should not do when you've had a few sherbets and it's late at night and you come up with a “great idea”. One, don't wallpaper the house and two, cut your own hair.

About 25 years ago we had just moved into our second house and were living in deepest Hertfordshire in a village called Buntingford, which was vainly clinging on to life in the hope of a bypass. I think every place we've lived in has been wanting a bypass and usually get it just after we leave, Buntingford did! Waiting, again, probably in vain for the Forest Row bypass, maybe they'll have a whip round for us to leave? Anyway, one night, the kids were in bed and the present Mrs Swinhoe and I were wallpapering, and mean wallpapering, not “Wallpapering!” As it was getting late she decided to go to bed and continue in the morning as I had a week off.

At the time I was going through my “home brewing” thing and could turn my hand at wine, red and white'ish, beer and larger. What they lacked in taste, colour, clearness and “legs”, they made up for with brute alcoholic strength, always added “extra” sugar to give the extra kick, more like a boot, some thought. I printed up my own wine labels, naming them and adding the odd remark like, “Don't drink on an empty or full stomach!” and “For a good clear out, two glasses only!”

Small problem is sometimes I gave up bothering with bottles and just decanted it straight from whatever I was brewing it in, wine in demijohns, larger in a 5 gallon plastic, pressurised, beer barrel. So the only time when you knew you had had enough was when you fell down and you were clinging onto the floor to avoid falling further, or pee'd in one of her clothes drawers, or when you woke up the next morning to absolute silence except the banging of doors.

With a nod to one of my favourite Monty Python sketches.

“A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh home made table wines. This is a pity as many fine home made wines appeal not only to the East Sussex palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.
Chuck Hatch Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Southborough Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.
Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the East Grinstead Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1990 Coq du Andy Murray, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Crawley Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Penshurst Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.
Another good fighting wine is Groombridge Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
Real emetic fans will also go for a Hailsham Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Colemans Hatch, which has a bouquet like a Crawley gas fitter's armpit.”

And:-
“Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table,
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates himself was permanently pissed...

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, with half a pint of shandy was particularly ill,
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day,

Aristotle, Aristotle was a beggar for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, "I drink therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.”

Back to Buntingford and the papering.

So I had another pint of, well something and then had a brilliant idea! Why not finish the wallpapering so she would have a nice surprise in the morning. Well I zoomed round, no need to take off the light fixtures, 13 amp sockets etc., I can easily cut round them perfectly, in and around the windows, no problemo! Don't bother putting the paste on the paper, bosh it on the walls, apply paper, cut to size! By about 3 am I finished the lounge and the adjoining dinning room and with a self satisfying smile finally go to bed.

Wake early the next morning to abject screaming! “What the bloody hell have you done!”
Goes downstairs and I have to admit it was not perfect, “Did it for a surprise, for you, Pet”. “SURPRISE! SUR-BLOODY-PRISE!, if I get another surprise like this again I'll kill you. Look at it! Some of the wallpaper is practically horizontal, looks like a mad man with an axe has “cut” round the lights and why, for God's sake, are all the windows papered over?” “Fix it now or you are dead meat!” Always painted the walls since then, down to experience I guess.

Which brings me around to the hair cutting. Usually get my hair cut when we fly home, so about every three months or so. Unfortunately the “or so” may be a few weeks and my forelock that I'm always tugging for SWMBO gets rather long and unruly. So last night probably after one too many glasses of wine I decided to “trim” it a bit, well trim moved on to “cut”, but it did feel shorter and the was a surprising amount of hair on the carpet. So cleans up a bit and off to bed.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!” “What the hell have you done to your hair! Have you plugged yourself into the mains socket again! Did your head catch fire!”
So I'm now wearing a baseball cap, pretty much all the time.

Back to Sunday evening:-

SWMBO is not best pleased ATM, as she has lost at everything and tonight after being beaten, badly at boules and then cribbage, she threw the cards all round the MS, I went down and bought her a bottle of Cava (€8!) to calm her down and it worked as she is now sitting writing her diary and silently cursing under her breath.

Watched some movie about the Windmill Theatre, very forgetful.
Monday 6th June 2011, BP and a few jobs I think.

Washing was one, so filling and emptying again. SWMBO went for a walk around town whilst I lost and then found my tyre pressure gauge, drained and put away the hoses, fixed the slowly emptying washing machine (she told ME what to do, thinks she should have been an engineer in a previous life, yeah, about as good as Swanny is), checking the tyre pressures and generally “deeing” things that had been awaiting completion. Next it's shopping at Mercadona, then boules?

Food shopping in and the gazebo bought from Brickomat in Castellon, 3m x 3m, blue and at €37 a bargain. Back and a game of boules and we learnt a lesson. A French guy was playing on the next pitch with his wife and spent all his time accurately knocking her ball (sic) out of the way, full toss (this is getting worse) every time. SWMBO started doing this and managed to get a game! Still 2 – 1 to me but the smile is back on her face, then she lost at doms.
Fried veggies in my chilli oil with chicken, hot on many levels. Then watched a, loaned by Brian, God awful DVD called “The Hotel New Hampshire”, about a dysfunctional American family running a succession of Hotels, give it a miss.

Cut down on the BAW tonight as I have been snoring and SWMBO has been retiring to the R&R bed in the middle of the night and constantly telling me about it for the rest of the day.

Tuesday 7th June 2011, BP and if the forecast is correct it's going to chuck it down today, it's 8'ish and it certainly looks like it. Mind it was bloody warm last night and never dropped under 20°C!, duvet off, windows open. SWMBO (and me to a certain extent) is going to be in for a shock, temperature wise, when she gets back. Driving around and it's 24°C and she is cold, and in the evenings when it's not much less than that, she's pulling on a fleece!

So today it looks like staying in and reading a lot.

First, as SWMBO is entered into “The Race for Life”, July 17th, she is always wanting to go for fast walks, so off we went and put on my famous “Postman's Walk”, left her trailing. As the RFL is only 5 km (about 3 miles in old money), it's hardly worth putting your boots on! Boules, me 2 – 0.
It's now 5:15 pm and, as predicted it's persistently chucking it down with the odd peel of thunder thrown in for good measure, apparently it's going to be a bit of a show tonight.

SWMBO sent me down to Mercadona to get a bottle of Rioja to dinner tonight, I broke my raincoat out of hibernation for the journey, I was pointed at a lot by my so called fellow campers as I walked along in the streaming rain and when I walked in the store, it all went quiet?

Doms, me and as she lost again I hid in the toilet, as hurled dominos are a lot harder and more painful than playing cards, until she calmed down. Tried to watch an Irish film about the “Troubles” but it was so depressing we switched it off and watched “As Good as it Gets” with Jack Nicholson, and he drank all my wine!

Bed after listening to Adele's “21” album again on the headphones and falling asleep in the “comfy” chair.
Wednesday 8th June 2011, BP and going to be in the 30's and 16°C in England, hell's teeth and by the cringe!
Up early, SSS, breakfast and the plan is the fast walk backwards (not really backwards), well the other way round (oh God), the same route but in the other direction!

Valencia tommorow!