Mike dropped round with some books and newspapers but really for a cup of coffee and to get away from Irene for a bit, he stayed two hours. Hey ho, what else are we doing then?
Today I got duped into a 12 miler, supposed to be a short hop to the supermarket but oh no, “Let's just go here, let's just go there”, etc. First Aguadulce and then Roquetas and the supermarkets were all shut because the Spanish had slipped in “Andalusia” day, where did that come from? The place is teaming with Spanish and their BBQs and their kids and their kites, why can't they just push off and leave us Brits, sorry Germans, alone?
Standing there getting the bikes ready and Rudi comes over, points to my bike computer and produces his bike computer and then explains in fluent technical German why it's not working. As I couldn't help I made gestures that he might as well just shove it up his arse, then, he pops back into his caravan and comes out with a tube of preparation H, how did he know?
One of the German motorhomes left this morning and Henk (Dutch), who leaves in a weeks time has started cleaning and packing, do a thorough job these people you know.
As we are going back soon and I'm still worried about getting the bus to the airport I thought I would sound out some of the Brits on the site as to giving us a lift.
“Hi Bob, how's it going?” Usual replies and I manage to ask him if they, a group of about 6 Brits in nearby pitches, ever fly home and how do they get to Almeria. “Oh yes, give each other lifts to the airport”. “Yes, taxis are expensive and me and Tricia are flying on the 15th”...........Long pregnant pause. “You know you can get the bus?” Thanks for nothing, mate.
Doms, I won, dinner and one episode of TW and then she's so knackered she goes to bed at 10 o'clock, stayed up and read, end of day.
Tuesday 1st March 2011
Up relatively early and because it's due to rain here, off to visit some camp sites down Malaga way to maybe use next winter instead of being here for so long. 240 mile round trip and found one about 30 miles from Malaga that we can get on and looks OK, €270/month. Stopped for lunch on the way back and made the mistake of both ordering mushroom soup, you see, Spanish soup no matter what flavour they claim it to be, is just salted water with lots of MSG in it, so was this, €10 for two soups, bread and coffee. Mind we had a view of the Mediterranean and Tricia fancied the waiters.
Back in time to insure the rig and go shopping at Mercadona, fun filled day.
Diesel is now €1.27/litre and rising, still cheaper than the UK but up from 83 cents 2 years ago is getting a bit silly.
Exciting game of Doms, me 3-2, one TW and a great stir fry but I put probably too much chilli source on my bit, see below.
Wednesday 2nd March 2011, brrrrrrrghhhh, bloody cold this morning, down to 6°C.
Unfortunately due to last night's chilli, the cold did not really bother me until I was actually in trap #2 and blowing on my hands to keep warm, what the Ericks thought I didn't really care.
Now we have these great big green refuse bins out side the toilet/shower block and every morning on my way to SSS I take the MS's full rubbish bin, now in a plastic bag, with me. Unfortunately this morning, in my haste, I threw my washing bag in there instead and ran into the shower block. My next thought was how was I to clean my teeth with the skin of an avocado and would two used teabags and the remnants of a tin of baked beans pass muster as shower gel? Retrieving my shower bag would have been easy had the refuse bin been full, it wasn't, therefore climbing into the bin in my flip flops and my extra loose shower shorts proved something of an eye opener for some of the female Ericks returning from their ablutions.
So when I got back, due to the cold, the gas fired heating went back on, been off for two weeks, gets into March and it's on again. SWMBO wouldn't get out of bed until 10 o'clock until it “warmed up a bit”.
Cycled down to the “Guerilla”, which is a 25 foot plastic kids slide at the end of the beach and basically marks the tourist bit of Roquetas, coffee and then back, 12 miles. Bit of sun and read and then when the few clouds come over at about 4:30'ish, drove up to the Decathalon” sports shop and bought two sleeping bags. Reason? Swans are coming and with the temperatures in single figures at night both of us will need more than just a sheet, sleeping on the MS sofa bed etc. as the Swans will have our nice 14 tog double bed. €25 each and after SWMBO tried one when we got back, she wouldn't get out of it again.
A fry up including liver, egg and tomatoes, lovely.
Dominoes, a lesson learned. SWMBO has been getting pretty good of late but last night I realised that it must be just down to luck and she really isn't taking full account of what doms are being played. 2 all and in the 3rd and final game it's “4” on one end and the penultimate “1” on the other, so she plays the last “1” and of course any right thinking person on the planet will be thinking, “OK she obviously has no 4's as she taken the last 1 off”. I've got double 4 and can see the game is mine for the taking, she plays 4/6!!!!! We are both knocking and she wins on the count!!! There then ensues a “small” argument where I'm shouting and swearing about the last “1” and she is saying “I didn't know it was the last 1?” How can I ever play again against logic like that, I give up, I really do.
I had to go for a long walk and a fag to calm down.
Two episodes of TW and then she goes to bed and I read, don't think I will be able to sleep tonight.
Thursday 3rd March 2011, and it's getting colder.
Gas furnace was on for two hours this morning before she would even peek out of the duvet and it was only the sound of breakfast being prepared that actually got her moving at all!
Cycle to Roquetas and back via the beach, clouds rolling in and the wind is picking up.
Met Dave and Elaine, just arrived last week and were here last year, on the way back and subtle as I am, I asked if he had a caravan or a motorhome, “A caravan” was the reply and shortly after we have our lift to the airport, result! Invited them round for coffee later on today to cement the arrangement. So of course when we get back she goes into cleaning mode, hoovering mode and shouting at me mode, because we are going to have guests. Coffee with Dave and Elaine and what a nice couple they are, no telly like us and have a similar lifestyle.
Booked ferry from Bilbao to Portsmouth for 21st June, £470 with a outside cabin, leaving at 10:30 am so we have to camp at the port the night before.
Heinz, next door, and a few friends are having a party of some sorts and as it's 1 o'clock, the wine is starting to flow. Guess what the main ingredients of the lunch are? Yep, sauerkraut, bockwurst and a boat load of mustard. I hope it's a going away party.
No doms I wouldn't play. Roasted chicken and two episodes of TW then bed.
Friday 4th March 2011.
Washing day, say no more. Shopping at Mercadona later.
Gas ran out this morning, so another stint of just over a month/bottle and probably needed a new one before Mrs Swan, who doesn't do “cold”, gets here, so the heating will probably be permanently on.
If I wear slippers for too long they begin to smell a bit, don't know if it's just me, but there it is. So every few weeks or so I wash them. Of to SSS this morning and thought, what about just wearing them in the shower, kill two birds with one stone (what does that mean?). So did just that and as SWMBO is washing and there's no room to peg them on the line I stand them on the foldable metal boot cover of the pickup to dry. Finishes off the filling and emptying of the tanks, fixing the now leaking flat hose that some stupid German bint ran over on her bike while I was filling up, and having a nice cup of coffee after that.
Off to Mercadona to get the shopping, it's about a mile and a half of semi rough terrain and we get there and as Tricia is going to get the trolley I look at the back of the Truckasarus and there's a pair, sitting together mind, of still wet black slippers. How they stayed on I'll never know.
Back in the MS and it's cloudy and miserable out there, NPDJY (not pissing down just yet) but close. So it's ironing for her and writing this and reading for me.
Hell's teeth! God it's gone over all black! Bit of T&L and now it's raining. Funny thing is it's 18°C inside the MS but it feels so cold, because it looks so miserable outside, that we've put the gas heating on again and started on the the Fizz (it's only 6pm).
Because we are getting up early on Sunday to go to the the Farmers Market near the airport in Almeria, SWMBO has declared tomorrow (Saturday) be re-named Sunday because there is no way she is going to miss her chucky eggs at the week end. Does that mean I'll know the score between Sunderland v Arsenal before it happens?
Going to be a long night tonight as she will want to play dominoes and I can't bring myself round to it because of how the last one ended, I mean how can I actually demean myself by playing what turns out to be a complete idiot? Taking off the last dom when you can play the other side, how can I try to predict what a complete tosser like that will do, that's what the game is about man. I mean Doms isn't exactly life and death, it's more important than that, isn't it? It formed the very core of our evenings entertainment (SWMBO has sworn not to involve herself in any other evening activities until I have installed two more forward stabilisers and have had a overhead mirror, in the shape of Raphael Nadal, fitted above the bed?).
So back to cribbage or ludo, extra episodes of TW or will she subject herself to a short, distance based, Open University course on the finer points of Domino tactics and strategy. If she obtains a good pass or a credit I may start her with a single hand of fives and threes. Otherwise I can see a separation coming up, of course she'll get the house and the MS, I'll get the Truckasarus and the tent. What she'll do for breakfast on Sunday (or Saturday mornings) I can only guess at.
WRT that Nadal fella, I don't know what she sees in him I really don't, I offered to wear tight underpants that can ride up into a permanent wedgie but she says that's not it at all. Maybe it's because I'm not left handed? I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Chicken and veggies followed by the final two episodes of series two of TW. No Doms, I'm still in withdrawal.
Saturday (AKA Sunday) 5th March 2011.
Eggs and soldiers when she finally arose at 10:30am after explicit instructions the night before for me to “get her up” at 9am. I had more chance of moving the Titanic by hand than achieving that and the simile is not far off. Probably due to the large portion of Fizz she had the night before. Then of course just to get at me again, it's bloody washing, again!
I don't know what the Ericks actually think when they see me endlessly emptying the 45 litre waste hog, trailing up and down time and time again, have we struck an artesian well under the MS? Constantly filling the fresh water tank because of the repeated rinsing of the washing that she does.
Mind, when I think about it, it's a good thing because my Mother didn't think rinsing clothes was that important. In my teens I can remember suffering from a perpetual case of “Dobies itch” and was always wearing my jeans out around the crotch area. Didn't know what caused it, or that such a thing even existed (it does, look it up) and so I was always embarrassingly scratching my cojones, you can even see me doing it on our wedding video. After living (if you can call it that) with SWMBO for a while, it just disappeared and it was not until years later I discovered what it was.
Bit windy today so I don't think there is going to be any cycle rides, stay at the site and read I guess.
It's 4pm, not nice outside and she drops the bombshell.
“Any chance you can drop me at the Grand Plaza so I can have a look in the shops for a few hours, on my own like?”.
She might as well have said, “Give me all your money and a lighter”, for all the difference it will make.
“I'm not going to buy anything, just have a look round the shops”. She knows I don't do “looking for nothing in particular”, kind of shopping.
“So why are you opening and clearing out my wallet?” “Well, you never know.” Famous last words, I never will.
I man shop. Need a jacket, go to jacket shop, buy jacket, come home and that's it. No need to look in a tie shop because I came for a jacket, easy.
I must admit though, in our other life she used to spend hours wondering round the shops in Tunbridge Wells and not come back with anything, I have learnt since that this type of female behaviour is standard and in army terms she is just carrying out a “recky” for a future date.
And I always get the run around like all us men do. “Is that new?” “No,! I've had it ages”. Yes she has, she just hasn't got round to wearing it yet, it was new when she bought it a month ago.
So I drops her off, comes back and prepares the dinner of chilli con carne and rice, well chips for me, types a bit of the blog and checks the football scores. We drew at Arsenal, what a great result!
Newcastle got beat at home to Everton, oh dear how sad.
Went back to pick her up and she's carrying bags! Now remember she took all my cash, well all the folding, important stuff anyway, and the first thing she said when she got in the car was, “I had to use your credit card as well”. I very nearly drove into one of the underground car park stanchions on the way out, can't remember driving back, I was still in shock. We get in the MS and she starts taking her clothes off and I'm thinking, either this is pay back time or she has got something REALLY expensive. No, it's just to start trying on the clothes she has bought, damn!
Apparently she needed a re-up on some Lancome “Hydra Zen” moisturiser, comes in a little jar and costs, get this, €1,000/litre, no, no that is not a typo, a €1,000/litre. OK she only buys 50 ml but I can get Plutonium cheaper than that if I ask around. My God, it's even more expensive than petrol. An anagram of Lancome is CLEAN MO, which of course stands for CLEAN ME OUT!
So my part of my “wardrobe” is going to get compressed even further, so what's new there then John?
Doms, I won 3-0 but her heart was not in it, chilli etc., two mediocre episodes of TW then bed, slept well, wine and beer helped.
Sunday (the real Sunday) 6th March 2011.
Up early and off to the farmers market which I'm afraid was just like any other market, full of tat clothing and actually not much in the way of fruit and vegetables? Bought some oranges, mushrooms and strawberries, which were all a bit cheaper than the supermarket but if you add on a gallon of diesel to get there, hardly seems worth it?
On the way back SWMBO insisted we stop at a dreary café for a coffee, it was so crappy she didn't even take a picture, which is a first, coffee was OK though.
Then back to get the bedding into the on site industrial size washing machine at a cost of €4 a go, so the Swans have fresh clean bedding. She proceeds to put the liquid detergent into the correct receptacle and also in the bit for the conditioner, result foaming final spin, the Swans will go home with an undiagnosed case of Dobies itch.
Also a good result on the internet front, managed to persuade “Scary Spice”, that's SWMBO's name for the guy on reception, to extend the internet at the same rate until we leave, only saves €12 but what the hell, and he did!
She's really getting into, visitors are coming, cleaning mode, fridge has just got a good seeing to and in the middle of doing it has found that we have a self de-frosting fridge. We often used to notice water in the fridge and wondered where it came from, she has found the overflow container at the top, which was full and blocked, so one less thing. Then it's going to be the cooker, the cupboards, microwave, carpet, bookcase, chairs and table and anything else that she can get a cleaning cloth to. She even starting cleaning my trainers and I'm still in them, still, only another two days of this and then she'll start all over again just before we fly to the UK as a “leaving clean”.
I remember once, many years ago when the kids were all grown up, sorry silly me, that's actually never going to happen. Anyway, she was now at a loose end, hadn't worked for 16 years and was wanting to go back to some kind of work. She used to be the PA to the MD at Rolls Royce (aero engines) in the north east, earning twice as much as me, so quite an important job.
So we are walking along in Royal Ashdown Forest and she tells me she's managed to get a job. “That's good Pet, what is it?” “Cleaning other people's houses”. Now I'm not a snob but this was a little too much even for me and I basically went ballistic (think Boycie in Fools and Horses) and told her there was no way she was cleaning houses, especially with a Porsche and a Mercedes in the bloody drive.
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| The rain is coming |
So she went to a temp agency and four weeks later had mastered Word Perfect and was writing pivot tables in a 20/20 spreadsheet. She ended up as a project manager with Capita.
She still likes to clean thoughbut.
Doms, me 3-2, Stir fry with prawns, TW the bed.
Monday 7th March 2011
Lots to do today for the arrival of the Swans tomorrow.
Clean everything again, clean the car and the MS. Shop and get new coffee mugs as SWMBO managed to break two while cleaning yesterday. We were going to buy a wind break but as the weather for their stay is going to be cool and wet, I reckon we wont be outside much. Last year they came early April and it was nice and warm.
So basically just stayed around the MS sorting stuff out moving clothes out of cupboards for the and stowing lots of stuff in the hold. Bought a table cover and clips (useless), a spare 10 M hose and connectors because with all these nuggets cycling over my water hose it's only a matter of time before it's US, leaking in 4 places at the moment.
Washed and leathered the Truckasarus, inside and out, they'll not notice you know.
Doms, her, Pizza, 2TW and early doors to bed.
Tuesday 8th March 2001
Final clean round and dust up and off at 9:45 am, their plane is on time.
Arrived OK and back to the MS and the usual prawns and garlic butter.
Pat decided that we should have some money for their stay and gave it to SWMBO. Meanwhile Alan's telling me about it and I say to him that if he buys the beer and wine, we'll tell Pat to keep it. So he spends €30 on the booze but Pat still insists and gives the money to SWMBO, I don't know this yet. More later.
Lie down in the sun and then chicken and general drunkenness for the rest of the evening including a bottle of wine from Rudi.
Wednesday 9th March 2011 RDM con Swans
Pissed down last night.
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| RDM pre rain |
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| "Farmers" market |
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| Typical Swan pose |
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| Swans arrive |
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| And get down to it |
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| RDM in the warm |
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